Let me write about letting go as though, I had completely mastered it. For my past relationships, books about it, movies and novels about it, others’ share of it, and the lessons along the street, I say: the process of letting go is as hard to endure as a shopaholic desists herself on a Thanksgiving day to buy that Gucci boots she’s been eyeing for quiet a time. Seemingly impossible, yet possible enough.
Letting go is an art. There’s beauty in the process of fulfilling it. The beauty that makes it artful is embedded in its process. The process comes in different forms though, thus, people learn the art differently because they respond differently to loss. So, how to let go beautifully, or is there such a thing?
In the first place, letting go of someone special hurts deeply once you believe that, that someone loves you forevermore, that parting is illusive and never coming. However, that’s not true all the time. Someone has to leave, so the right love can get into the picture. Yes, nobody says, in losing someone who has already become part of your system, you can run away from hurting and wailing. That’s part of the process. At the end of it, when no tears and tantrums can suffice the feeling, acceptance takes over. Once you accept that you should be hurt to receive the gift that comes with hurting, you will find yourself smiling and nodding to sleep. You’ll get a sound sleep now.
Second, crying yourself to death is normal, but it should not take you a lifetime or else, you’re burying yourself alive. Once you’ve danced and got wet in the rain, you should change outfit. You can start this by overhauling yourself and your immediate environment. Do yourself a little favor like giving yourself a new haircut, pretty dress, nice pair of shoes, dainty manicure and pedicure, fresh look, new you. Throw away memorabilia and things that remind you of the loss. Have another set-up. Maybe your room, workplace, or explore other meeting places for dining. Avoid going to places and meeting people whom you used to hang out with together. It’s not about throwing the bond away; it’s about you giving yourself a break to forgive, and a time to bond with once you never thought of. This may take time, but I’m sure, little by little, you soon accept the feeling that you once had.
Third, since you have met your new you, make yourself busy. Get a work you love, constant parlor visit, shopping, and party either with family or new friends. This will really contribute to faster recovery and meeting your new strong and happy self.
Fourth, this should have been the first among the list. No communication with each other or don’t even hire a spy or worst, don’t become the spy yourself. Getting in touch with someone who hurt you is a manifestation and a sign that you are insensitive and selfish. You crave for a love sweeter the second time around without considering that the other person isn’t for it anymore. You become self-centered. You are giving the villain the consent to hurt you even more, to the point of leaving nothing for yourself. So, he gets to sleep on the bed of rose petals, and you on the bed of thorns.
Fifth, let time be the doctor and the verdict. It heals all wounds, but it takes a little push on your part. They say, only time understands the course of loving and how it rightfully goes. Isn’t it?
Sixth, this is neither compulsory nor needed, but if this comes, it’s yours to keep. This is an incentive for learning the art, and fulfilling the process: a new love, maybe the right one or not. Welcome this new love with warmth and vigor. Just because this love sprouts after a bad love, does not mean that this love deserves the least. Instead, the best. If unluckily, this new love isn’t yet the right love for you, at least, you’ve given your best love and never regret of a love lost because in love, there’s no master at all, no calculations, no formats, no styles, no consistency, no status, and no time.
Guess, I’m just learning: learning the art of letting go.
N.B.: photo not mine