I heard stories of him, on how he looked like and how awesome he is,
But I never cared, he never caught my attention back then
Because I have set myself to someone or something else.
The day we met is not as romantic or as grand as people imagined it to be,
To be honest I was in a messy situation,
I was coming after a boy whom I loved so much
Oh boy, looking back I’m doubting if it was love after all or I just needed him
to distract my heart from loneliness
We were together for almost 2 years
I was in panic and pain, imagine losing a person whom you invested yourself with so much
I clung to him regardless of how toxic it is
I’m willing to lower myself just to make him stay
And yet it wasn’t enough
I remember one evening around 10 PM I hoped on a bus
with my clothes and stuff soaked from the rain
came uninvited to the boy’s house (yikes! The desperation)
only to be pushed away. It was like a telenovela scene, except it’s cringy to be reminisced in real-life HAHAHA.
I came home feeling numb and empty
And that’s when I heard the other guy said softly:
“I love you. You were never meant for that, I was trying to save you. You’re not ready for it yet. Let me clothe you”
When he spoke, it feels like he knew me.
I finally cried, it was my first time to feel that tears can be comforting
My stone-cold heart softened with just his words
And I never knew that it was the words I needed to hear
It’s a face-punched truth yet it didn’t hurt at all
It was freeing.
I’m sure I’m not naked when he spoke to me though my clothes were soaked
But I knew exactly what he wanted me to wear,
He wanted me to undress the guilt, lies and unworthiness
And wear what I have now; hope, beauty, strength, dignity, truth and love.
That was just the start of our love story but his version of love story
Started long, long years ago when He sacrificed himself when I don’t know him yet
He died so I can live with chances ‘cause we both know for a fact that I tend to make stupid and wrong decisions, so He provided grace and salvation
Until now when I feel lost and did something wrong he’ll say
“Bangon lang, ulitin natin ulit pero yung tama na, kasama ako.”
He never pushed me away hence, he will love me the same or even more.
He loved me when everyone else left.
Our story continues, and never again will I go back to that messy situation
not because I’m strong but because His love is strong in me and I’m loved by the most loving man,
By the way, His name is JESUS, my savior.