open letter to my future husband in the times of waiting..
Few days ago seemed so rough for us, situations after situations begin to scramble us up. We never expect anything to happen but problems after problems came at our doorstep.
“Hindi lagi okay. hindi lagi masaya.”
That is always true about relationships, because we are never assured of what may happen. We are powerless, thats why we always tend to brace ourselves to expect the unexpected. We do not hold anything because we are just mere mortals surviving in this mere small world.
To be honest, I will admit to you that I tend to hate waiting, because I tend to overthink specially when I am alone waiting. I first noticed this bad habit when i was in college, where i do wait for my turn in long queues just to pay my tuition. I often avoid heavy lines, and even dodge grocery shopping if the waiting lines are as long as rapunzel’s golden hair. I will loose such temper even if its my bestfriend who lets me wait for an hour at the meeting place. I never really understood the mechanics of the waiting game.
Then, I became your future wife…
at times that you are so very busy I try to think and imagine all the things that you are doing. Estimating the times and expecting that you are done by then. I guess its a toxic selfish habit, and I really hate it. Relating it to my old relationships i guess, i got this from a trauma, where I got cheated on.
As the days goes by, my love, you have proven me that you really are my future husband. You have put your full trust in me and I to you. And learning that you are the one God has given me in this lifetime, i have learned that truly, genuine love is bound to growth and thats how it goes.
Suddenly everything make sense now. I understood how loving someone will turn your guts out by knowing and understanding that this isnt all about you, it tells us a message that says we do all things together, fight together, stick together through thick or thin. Its all about understanding in depths on what your partner is facing, because now, it is also your problem too.
Recently, I saw how you sacrifice, how you tend to those whom you love, and how you deal with your responsibilities and i cannot explain how you, a mere human overcome and carry alot with strength and courage. Never have i ever seen a love so pure and genuine, and is willing to cross all mountains just to do a task for those he love. By that thought, I learned that the game of waiting can be fought off with love, infact.. Love can conquer all things. There is no measure of time to do the impossible for those whom you truly love. Its because of love, that you will truly overcome impatience because God teaches us how to wait for his timing. That became true to me when he has given me you. Again, my love, my dearest Aljay, thank you for teaching me to grow by the grace of our Lord Father. i love you!
