In the most unexpected moment of my silver year, I received a gift like no other – my first love’s heartbreaking breakup. It hit me hard, turning my world upside down, and strangely, the universe seemed to align it on the 25th day of my birth month in my 25 years here on earth. Also, my tears join the heavy rain pouring outside, where I felt lost and overwhelmed.
The hardest part was that I couldn’t express my emotions freely. I didn’t have a personal space since I am just sharing a bed with my sibling, which made it difficult for me to shout or grieve openly. My heart felt heavy, my throat bitter, my eyes swollen, and my hands trembled with agony.
Why has life burdened me with such a painful gift of brokenness? It’s been tough, draining my energy every time I lay on my bed. It takes away the joy of enjoying food, pushing me to linger on things that reminds of you. I’m consumed by feelings of anxiety, bitterness, and loneliness, my cup is filled with mix emotions. Maybe I experienced all this things because I awaken the love that shouldn’t start. I am ready to settle down yet you are still building your own castle.
I can’t deny the fact, what left behind is untouched. Previous conversations, downloaded photos together and even password which resembles your name. May the day came where I can bravely say that these too shall pass where I am not traumatized to celebrate my birthday anymore. Indeed, there is breaking in the making where God’s will surpass the human will.
