Things A Woman Should Not Say
Unless you want to be judged.
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You woke up with a sound of clock ticking.
Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.
You tried to ignore it. Yet the more you tried not to think about it, it keeps on ringing in your head. Loudly.
Like a heavy metal song playing in the background when lullaby should be played instead.
The clock gives off an irritating sound that reminded you of people that keeps getting on your nerves.
You’re not getting any younger.
You should start thinking about your future.
Find a man.
Get married.
Reproduce.
Oh good Lord can you say what the fuck.
I guess you can’t but you did.
Will they ever know that you’ve killed them ten thousand ways to Sundays in your head?
Sometimes it’s nice to live in fantasy.
You take away sometimes and replace it with always.
Always and forever.
But. Reality sucks as it keeps on sucking your life force away.
Always and you hope not forever.
You wonder when will this society mind it’s own business.
When will they stop treating women as a commodity.
A commodity that has an expiration date.
You wonder will they ever get it in their head that everyone has it’s own timing and one doesn’t need to meet their expectations.
You think not. It won’t happen. Not when the society that says “I won’t judge” are the very same people that keep on telling you you’re not good enough.
You don’t get it. Sometimes you’re wondering was there a plaster in your forehead that says:
This woman needs a man.
Because sorry to disappoint if someone tell you that you need someone to take care of you, you beg to disagree.
As you have been taking care of yourself on your own for a long time now.
But it gets the better you sometimes.
The way their eyes talk that makes you think that they see you as defective.
Undesirable and ugly.
While this it may only be in your head but still you let it sink.
Until you get drown in it.
Until you start thinking how lonely your life is.
That sometimes when the night gets colder and you reach beside you only to find an empty space you can’t help the feeling of sadness and disappointment arising.
Stir. Let it boil. Simmer.
In this world where good love is so hard to find people are throwing it away like a trash.
Overrated. Misused. A hard sell.
That’s how you see love is.
Like a marketing strategy people are wary about but then they keep on buying the same product.
Over and over again.
That sometimes when you’re tired you longed for someone to take care of you.
And though you already claim that you can, it feels good to be taken cared of sometimes, you’d silently say.
But then you’ve gotta make face.
Because you need to save face.
Unless you want to be called desperate.
But didn’t you know? You are anything but that.
In this world where many people settled to what they don’t deserve you stood your ground.
Because you’ve seen a lot of them.
A lot of unsatisfied souls.
You’ve seen many of them.
Happiness never reaches their eyes.
And you began to wonder which is better.
Being alone.
Or being lonely.
