Was it a gloomy day again? How long has it been since you felt that? Do you still remember being locked in your room of thoughts? Does it seem like you can’t get out? Oh! That was so terrible! You’ve hidden all tears and faking up every laughter. You lied to the world and most especially, to yourself. Everybody admired you for your jolly character. They love you for your bright smile and positive vibes that you bring. But they didn’t know how broken you are inside. You’re like a glass, so fragile. Yet, nobody noticed it.
And here you are! Stucked and confused. So many questions yet so little answers. You are dwelling in too much pain from the past. You are tremendously sad. You have a lots of regrets. You don’t want any commitment because you don’t want to be rejected again. You don’t trust too much because you’re afraid they might leave you hanging again. You miss the old you but you’re so scared to be back to that old, innocent soul. You don’t even know if it’s still you.
Everything has changed! You know deep inside that the old you died long ago. You are no longer in love with your true lover. No matter how much you tried to get back, still you know it is not enough. And here you are, wishing that you could just disappear and be gone forever.
But darling, you should be brave! Be brave enough to get up and start a new life! Remind yourself that you’ve been rescued from the world and have become a co-heir of the kingdom. Be brave enough to do the things that make you happy. Doing things that brings glory to the Father. Be brave enough to step out from everybody’s expectations. You don’t have to please them because God wants you to desire Him alone. Be brave enough to express your true self. God set you free from all bondages to be bold enough to speak the truth before all creation. And that truth is His Word! Be brave enough to take one step ahead of your doubts. It will just distract you from your true purpose as a Christ ambassador. You are made to worship and serve Him. Be brave enough to leave people. Not all people we meet are worth keeping. Some of them makes us want to persevere and be a blessing. But sadly, some of them taught us to be wise enough to choose whom we want to be with. Nevertheless, all of them gave us reasons on how we pursue life. On how we approach every single day.
I know you are deeply wounded, but I also know, you are unbreakable! You are braver than you think! Being courageous is good but being brave makes that courage stand out. You are more than enough than you think. A deeply wounded warrior who trusts her Master can turn every pain and brokenness into a great testimony. And you are one of them! They might have told you that you don’t deserve it but let me tell you now. God doesn’t require any qualifications, He just want your heart for it, your commitment, a total surrender. It is not easy to try and do it again but believe me you can! No matter how wounded you are, God is powerful enough to heal you. No matter how empty you are, God is big enough to fill it up. Just like King David, you are a beautiful warrior, forgiven, accepted and washed by Jesus’ blood, worthy of the kingdom.
Now wipe your tears, remove the mask, pour out all grudges and release forgiveness! From that total surrender will come out a deeply rooted warrior ready to conquer the battlefield and show them how victorious you are. From this time forward, you are not alone. He promised to be with you until the end of age (Matthew 28:20). From a deeply wounded warrior to a deeply rooted beautiful one.
Finally, you’ve found whom your soul belongs to . And that is Jesus! Surely, you will enjoy every single moment with your lover, no false hopes, no failed promises and most of all consistency all throughout your relationship with Him. In this world where everybody else leaves, Jesus never will. He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).
Way to go my braver, fiercer and stronger warrior! You will be a great testimony! And you were made for it!❤