To my atheist Ex boyfriend

18

First of all, I would like to say sorry if instead of saying “I love you and I respect your belief” I asked you “Why?” You, of all people, is the closest person to me though we are apart physically. Hearing you say arguments that God doesn’t exist really hit me personally, emotionally and spiritually.

Back then, we were both serving God through our talents. We were praying together. So I hold onto the belief that for some reasons, you just have lost your faith. I tell myself I will not give up on you, on us. But days came and it was not what I expected. Almost everyday, I told you how amazing God is in my life. You got the hint of me trying to convince you that’s why you told me, you’ll be like that forever. You told me that your religious belief does not define you as a person. You don’t need God to be good. Yes I know, I know that you are a good person. I know that you won’t do harm to anyone. You’re totally a complete package, it’s only God that you don’t have.

Acknowledging those things, draw me into a lot of questions. “If we can still be good on our own, why do we need God?”

I was lost. I asked my friends what to do. They told me a lot of things. “Don’t give up on him.” “Leave him alone.” “Let him figure out things on his own.” “If he really loves you, he will adjust.”

I haven’t contacted you since then. I sorted things on my own. After months, I came back to you. I haven’t figure out the answers to my questions yet but I’m willing to find those answers with you. But you already have someone new. You told me she accepted you from the very start, which I didn’t do.

I’m sorry if I’m not that capable to handle our situation. As of this moment, I just wish you happiness and myself an enlightenment.

I loved you to the point of losing myself too.