To the person who broke my heart without him knowing it,
It has been a few months after we never heard from each other and here I am thinking of the many possibilities. I know from the very beginning that ‘us’ will never happen. Both of us had very little similarities; our priorities in a relationship and in life in general were different.
Your little ways of pulling me towards you and pushing me away at the same time deeply hurt me. I knew these and yet tolerated it. I never said anything because I wanted to keep you. I felt that finally someone actually feels something towards me. But I was wrong. I must admit that I chose to be blind, deaf and apathetic of these because I wanted to keep you. I set my records straight with you and you never were. Still, I stayed because I wanted to keep you. I waited relentlessly for you, thinking that you were sensible enough of me. I fought with myself because I wanted to keep you.
I wanted to keep you but we could not keep up on each other. We just couldn’t.
We never spoke and let the quietness between us dictate how we stand for each other. There were too many times I was tempted to end the silence but controlled myself. So, I argued on my own on how painful it was for me and you did nothing about it. You were never there. At all. It was just me, afloat, crying in silence.
I was broken and I took part of those brokenness. I own that and owed it to myself.
Now, I choose “me.” The silence was too loud, it became a wake up call. Reality hit hard. It was a blessing. Prayers in fruition. The silence itself was the answer I was looking for. It was the clearest I got from you. I am thankful for it because finally, I heard what is actually right. The right thing to do is to part ways silently, even if it did hurt, even if you didn’t know. The right thing to do is to reconnect with myself, the true me, even if you didn’t know. The right thing to do is to be present with people who truly cares, who really matters, even if you didn’t know. The right thing to do is to strengthen my faith in myself and in God, even if you didn’t know.
I have accepted.
I have forgiven both of us.
It is what it is now, to the person who broke my heart without him knowing it.