An open letter to the boy I never had

An open letter to the boy I never had,

Hi, how are you?

I hope you’re okay because right now, I don’t know if I’ll be happy for you or what. It still hurts. I know I don’t have any right to complain or tell you what to do but I’m still into you and I don’t know how to stop this. 

Since you came, you changed everything.

I found someone who’s very suitable for me, we have a lot of things in common and what I liked the most about you is you’re very passionate in every thing you do and you’re a very family-oriented person. We both love photography but aside from capturing places and other people, you captured my heart.

You changed me.

You changed me into a better one.

You made me believe in love again.

You’re one of the greatest motivators that I have. You’re the kind of person who believes in me when me, myself couldn’t. You changed my life into a new perspective. You have once told me that I’m enough and those people who hurt me were all jerks because for you, I’m precious and I deserved to be loved. Everyday, you never failed to tell me that. You never failed to make me smile. You never failed to make my heart beats for you. Every time you sing for me, my heart melts and I love the way you give me, that shivers, that giggles when you said those sweet words. 

I thought we’re okay.

I thought we’re going to level up.

I thought you can do it.

I thought you won’t leave me.

I thought we can make things work.

I thought you love me the way I love you.

But, these thoughts broke me. That’s what I thought.

Really.

Everything was unexpected.

You loved me unexpectedly. You cared like you want to be part of my life. You gave the things that I never had before. The love, the care, everything. You brought my life into a roller coaster ride. It’s fun though we struggled sometimes because we’re apart. 

But you were still happy on our situation right? 

We’ve been enjoying things even if we’re far from each other. I thought these things will make our bonds stronger. 

But you left. You left me. You left unexpectedly. 

You said that I deserved someone better. You said that you don’t deserve me. I thought you’re the one, but I was wrong. The only thing that I could really thanks to you is this broken heart of mine. 

Thank you for the broken heart. 

You’re the man that I never had but you brought so much lessons to me. 

Thanks to you, I became braver, stronger and fiercer when it comes to facing life. I hope we could see each other again, for me to thank you personally. I know, it isn’t easy to forget you. You’re now part of my history but you’re one of the reasons of who I am today. You still have a huge place on my heart. I will be forgetting you sooner or later but I know that those memories we had won’t. Take good care of yourself. I’m just always here for you, loving and supporting you from afar.

From the girl you left broken.