Boundaries

Another important aspect of a relationship is to respect each other’s personal boundaries. A boundary is a property line that defines where you end, and someone else begins. Good relationships have a high degree of respect for each person respecting the other’s “person.”

One way you can tell someone respects your boundaries, is whether you feel free to be in control of your own person, or whether you feel invaded, or controlled, by the other person.

A healthy person will respect your wishes to be in control of yourself and what you want to do, or not do.

Do they become unreasonable when you refuse to do something? Can they allow you to be separate from them and have your space? Do they see you as an extension of themselves, in some way, and feel they have a right to control you and do whatever they want with you? Consider the following questions:

  • Do they pressure you into spending too much of your time with them, or can you say “no” to their wishes and still be accepted?
  • Do they push in other areas, such as the physical area, in a dating relationship? 
  • Can they hear and respect your “no” when they push you further than you want to go?
  • Do they allow you the freedom to have different opinions, values, and wishes than they do? Or do you feel like you have to somehow be a “clone” of what they want you to be?
  • Do you feel like your choices are respected? Or do you feel like there is only one “will” in the relationship? Is it “their way or the highway?”