Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
Have you ever experienced that the ex of your current boyfriend confronted you and told you that she still has feelings for your boyfriend?
While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:
If you had one, anong gagawin mo? Anong reaction mo?
How did you handle this awkward scenario?
Unang una sa lahat, ex ng jowa mo yan! Don’t be intimidated by her, because that will give her more signals to do the wrong things and provoke you.
ASK QUESTIONS WITH CONFIDENCE
Smile and ask why? Ask her why she needs to tell you that she still has feelings for your boyfriend?
Note: be prepared to hear answers that you might not want but remember to STAY CALM
I experienced this first hand, we were in a gathering with my boyfriend’s college batchmate and friends. Naturally she needed to be there because she’s part of it and I have no problem with that but what was really unexpected was her asking me “Can we talk?” My initial expression was shocked and confused, but I managed to smile and answer her sabi ko, “sure! Pero later sana, nagkakasiyahan pa kasi”
But the truth is, I bought time so I can tell my Jowa and ask for his permission too.
Girls, always remember that when this happens to you, always make sure that you tell it to your other behalf. Open communication is a MUST in everything, in anything!
TRY TO PUT YOURSELF IN HER SHOES
I am so lucky that my partner is very supportive and when I told him that his ex wanted to have a one to one conversation with me, he approved. And that moment, while she’s telling me that her reason is why she wants to talk to me is because she wants to have a clean slate relationship with me?
Sabi niya, “Alam ko naman na alam mo yung history namin at gusto ko na i-assure ka na wala lang ito kung inaasar man ako ng tropa sa kanya, wala lang yun” Hindi ko ito ma gets at first, pero deep inside i know what’s happening here. Para conclude yung na fe-feel ko, I asked her probing question.
I asked her, kung wala lang ito why you talk about it? He still affects you? In what way?
Kasi in my perspective, she shouldn’t make me aware of those things, because it will open more questions in my mind.
“Kung wala lang ito, you shouldn’t be here and telling me this, unless otherwise you have plans on getting him back or you’re the one who’s affected? Kasi I see that you’re the one uneasy here.”
I saw the sadness in her eyes, parang iiyak na pero I asked questions calmly ha! Then that’s the moment she told me, na gusto pa niya yung ex niya na boyfriend ko na note that 3yrs na silang hiwalay but she still have feelings for him. She said “gusto ko pa, miss ko siya, nakakapanghinayang”
I look at her and I don’t know but naawa ako sa kanya, I know that I shouldn’t siya yung nag cheat but I put myself in her shoes, I imagined her being a college student lost and made mistakes that she regret.
She regret cheating on him,twice and now she been in a toxic relationship, siya naman yung niloko ng paulit ulit. In some time I will say that karma is a bitch but seeing her raw and vulnerable, Naawa nalang ako, Normal ba yon?
I end up that night secretly looking at her, she’s laughing but I can see the sadness in her eyes, I even catch her looking at us crying. Umiiyak siya habang nakatingin samin ng boyfriend ko, habang natutulog ang jowa ko sa balikat ko, siya naman itong nakatingin samin at lumuluha. Nasasaktan ako for her, because even it was years ago, she still wants to make amends pero hindi na pwede.
She wants to comeback but I will not let her, hindi ko siya aawayin instead I will let her see kung ano yung sinayang niya. Naawa ako sa kanya but I fixed what she left broken, My boyfriend had trust issues because of her, I made him better, we made each other better and I thank her for being his first lesson because it made him a wise, stronger and a faithful partner.