Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

Hi! I’m a single mother now because I married wrong. While I consider having my son the best thing that happened to me, still I know that things could have been better/ ideal if he were to grow up with a father. So ano ang point ko for posting this?
Sa mga single dito, here are the lessons I learned na sana makinig kayo para wag matulad sa mali ko:
  1. ┬áHindi sakit o kapansanan ang pagiging single. wag ma atat o mastress ma “upgrade” ang relationship status. There is a season and reason for every thing.
  2. Being single could be/ is a blessing, too. Cherish this season in your life to cultivate your self. Grow in wisdom and knowledge. Enjoy your earnings now that you don’t have a family to support yet. Take up new hobbies. Have fun with friends. Exercise. Find the perfect skincare routine. Kahit ano! Basta utang na loob, mag enjoy ka at sulitin mo.
  3. Do not ignore the red flags. Often kasi gusto nating maging si current jowa na ang the one, kaya we ignore the obvious warning signs. please don’t! Listen to your instincts and pray for guidance in choosing the right one.
  4. Your lifetime partner determines 90% of your sadness or happiness, so, choose wisely. Piliin ang taong may same values as yours at talagang magiging katuwang mo sa buhay, not pabigat. Have high (high, not impossible) standards and do not settle. Don’t let anyone pressure/ shame you for having high standards. Dapat lang na mataas kasi lifetime partner ito. Di siya damit na basta lang pinapalitan.
  5. You cannot change people (real character flaws like pananakit ng asawa ha, di yung tipong di mo lang type manamit) or save them from their traumas by loving them. Only the people themselves and God can change them.
  6. What you allow continues. If ilang beses ka ng sinaktan physically or habit na na minumura ka at kada sorry e magpapatawad ka, umasa ka 10 years later nandyan ka pa rin at ikaw lang din ang naupos. Know when enough is enough and be firm in your decision. Wag marupok at wag maging tanga.
  7. Walang sapat na reason ang pwedeng mag justify na sasaktan ka. It took me 8 years + 1 counseling session with a brilliant psychiatrist for me to realize this. Igalang natin ang ating katawan. Ginawa tayo ng Diyos at pinalaking maayos ng magulang natin kaya wag tayong timang na papayag na sasaktan tayo at jujustify pa natin na baka kasi talaga ngang bungangera ako, nakakaprovoke, etc.
Sana makatulong ito kung meron mang makakabasa nito na gaya ng younger self ko na kita na lahat ng red flags e papakasal pa rin. Please love yourself right.
Written by
Angela Patricia Arabit-De Luna of BW Cactus Community

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