“Langya, tagal naman!” Hahaha! I recently had my book with above title translated to Taglish and this was one of the titles jokingly suggested to me. I have been single officially (LOL) for about 8 years. Of course it wasn’t the most perfect pure ride, there were a lot of tests and temptations but I feel these are all necessary for the upcoming triumph. Yehes naman.
So why did I decide to write a book for singles? I feel it is a holy burden because God has revealed so much to me in this long wait which I feel will benefit millions out there. Yes, millions talaga.
I used to be a romance addict, I breathed, talked and lived romance. Wala na akong gustong pag-usapan kung hindi tungkol sa love life. And parang kulang na kulang ako sa life kapag walang special someone. Pero kapag meron naman, it seems like hindi ko naman namamahal yun tao ng tama and kahit love niya ako parang may kulang pa din.
Finally, na gets ko na. I was SO HUNGRY FOR LOVE because of a Father wound. Thank God I have my dad’s permission when I wrote the book. I have a great provider in a father pero I realised the role of a dad is so much more than that pala. Our worth, purpose and view of God begin with our earthly fathers. But if they themselves are broken and these weren’t established in their own lives by their own earthly fathers, how can we expect them to pass it on to us?
Napakadaming babae and tao in general na tumatakbo sa pag-ibig to fill something lacking with them, but I realized it’s not the solution. Most of the time, their lack of love comes from a deep seated childhood wound.
The wrong love at the wrong time can destroy you. We are all made to love and be loved but may order yan. Ang problema sa mundo, ang sinusundo natin yun out of order.
Ano yun out of order? Eto yun: Mate-Messy-Miserable. I know so many people who dove into love with the right intention naman, pero dahil hilaw pa ay nakasira lang sila sa isa’t isa. Madaming tao na may deep parental wounds and kapag hindi yun na-heal, it results to generational sins. Ano yun? Eto yun paulit-ulit na pattern in families whether thats unfaithfulness, alcoholism, early pregnancy, suicide, etc. etc. Binababoy kasi ng demonyo ang mga tao. Gusto niyang ilayo tayo sa totoo. Eh matalino siya so isa sa pinaka effective niyang paraan para sirain tayo ay “fake love”.
Pero God has a much better way, He has the right order when it comes to romance. Ano yun? MASTER-MISSION-MATE. Kailangan si God muna talaga bago tayo makipag-relasyon or flirt flirt man. Kasi Siya ang makakapag reveal ng true self worth natin. So many people base their worth on their significant other and when the relationship breakdowns, wala ng saysay ang buhay nila. Our identity and worth has to be based on Jesus Christ, kasi yun ang unchanging and solid. Kapag alam mo ang worth mo, hindi ka na mag se settle. Hindi ka papaabuso. And healthy choices not only blesses you but your future children as well. From a woman’s heart to another: please remember YOU ARE FAR MORE PRECIOUS THAN DIAMONDS. Kung hindi yan naparamdam sa yo growing up, ask God to show you. Importanteng matanim ito sa puso at isipan mo kasi this will dictate the kind of man you will accept. When you look at a potential partner ask yourself: if we will have future sons someday, will I be happy that they’ll end up to be someone like him? And if we have daughters, will I be delighted that they’ll choose a man just like this guy I am choosing now? These are the wise questions that should constantly be in our pockets, ladies. To the men, please know that you have such a great role in shaping the world because God designed you to lead families. If you cannot lead yourself yet, please lang, wag mo kami lalapitan.
Kailangan Master first kasi He will show you what real love looks like and He will train you to love in a healthy way as well. And isa pang na realise ko it has to be Master first because He will show you the right boundaries in relationships and how important this is. So many people became physically intimate without being married yet and it caused a lot of disaster later on in their marriage kasi hindi nila nakilala ng husto ang isat isa at dahil pareho silang wala pang self control.
Last, having a relationship with God is important because He will reveal and direct you to your Mission. Nasasaktan ako sa mga taong hindi na nalaman ang sacred mission nila or alam na nila pero hindi nila magawa kasi hindi sinusuportahan ng asawa nila.
When you know the Master and your Mission, that’s when it’s best to choose a Mate kasi both your eyes are open. You are already happy with your life, buo ka na, healed ka na. Gusto mo na ng bonus sa life and hindi burden. Wise ka na.
I remember one priest telling me: “kahit anong decision ang pipiliin mo for your love life, never forget the intention: it is to create a healthy, holy, family.” If I may add- this is only possible if we are healthy, holy and happy singles first. Please, for the sake of our future children, let’s allow God to work in us first para someday, we will experience what it means to truly love and be loved.
Soundtrack of this post: Seasons by Hillsong
Additional reading: Be Satisfied with Me by St. Anthony de Padua
