How Can I forgive If I Can’t Forget?

I keep asking myself what is wrong with me? Why I can’t forgivr and forget? Am I on a right track? 2018 has been the year of this shit which I cannot force myself to forget him and forgive what he has done to me. Some people told me that it was just a small thing and it was forgivable, for me no! It was killing me over and over and to the point that I cannot tolerate to see his face. I know I am not God and I should forgive but I am human and I cannot be God who is so loving and merciful. That person taught me that he is not deserving to be trusted. Yes he is! “Sorry ah di ko pa kayang magpatawad at makalimot lang basta”- I uttered. “Di ako yung tipo ng tao na isang sorry lang magpapatawad na”- I told them. Yes that is me and that was me! It has been 1 year since I slammed my door for that person. It was money matter and profession matter. I trusted him and he just did something shit straight to me. My wounds is not yet healed and my anger is not yet gone. As long as I have that memory I cannot and will not forgive and forget. I am heartless and merciless yes but I will never let my soul be rotten again!