Not everyone is worth the chase. In fact, we might be chasing the wrong ones for a long time and we don’t even realize it. The problem with our heart is that it is filled with emotions that so deceive us and lead us astray. We never would have wanted to be led astray, but our chasing sometimes leads us to an empty space – to that brink of nothingness. Thankfully, there’s still that brink, a stop, a warning that says, “Hey, you’re really about to get into a hard fall. Would you still continue?” Some of us would; and some of us would open our eyes and realize how reality can be this harsh: He is not worth the chase and you have been chasing the wrong one.
Imagine, after everything that you have spent for that person, be it resources, time, service, words, emotions – and you still end up with the wrong chase? Isn’t it hurting? You thought that you love him enough for him to love you back. But what do you actually get? You only get troubling assumptions, unclear answers, unsure feelings, and what, empty stares? Don’t you think that’s already too much? When all the world has even conspired to let that one person know how much he means to you, and yet there he is – doing nothing, leaving you hanging in the air. This is really very unfair and your heart would just continue to ache as you continue to raise your hopes when even hopes are no longer in jest for a possibility of a beautiful ending. Your love never really paid off and that’s just a harsh reality to better accept or you will drown with uncertainties forever.
Girl, hold your ass and walk away. You are not some grand expresso to be loved by someone who doesn’t even know the taste of coffee. Enough already. That has been too much. Never look back again. I am not saying that’s easy, but you have to do it anyway. Forget about the past. Forget about the memories you share. Forget about how he made you feel special, how he made you smile, how he made you feel secure for a moment, how he made you feel like you’re a family, how he was comfortable of you. Forget about all of those. Forget about your trips together, forget about your dinner together, forget about your future plans together, forget about the sweet words you hear from him. Forget about the poems you’re going to make for him and the day you’re going to show him those. Forget about cooking for him. Forget about doing stuffs for him. Forget about how you fear offending him. Forget about how he will change by your slightest change of behavior. Because you know, you might only be the person who’s thinking about those fantasies. Was he even concerned about how you really feel? He might not be even thinking about it now. He might even have someone special in his heart right now – and that is not you. Forget about clarity. If he was sure of you, you could’ve not waited that long and is still waiting until now. Stop expecting anything from him. That message should get across you.
Forgive that man you’ve been chasing. Forgive that almost. You better release forgiveness of that man so that you can freely move and let go. Learn to loosen the tight. Remember how you’ve been holding on for so long and how it has affected your whole being. Are you still happy? Are you still okay? Are you still breathing? Are you still alive? I bet not. Everything in you has been crashing and everything else is already crashed. Why? Because you have been holding on too much with that rope with a knife. Let go. It’s already painful? Let go. The only way to heal yourself is to finally let go. Remember that you are worth it and remember how you should be chased, not you who are chasing.
Remember the time that you asked God that may your man be a man who so pursues Him that in his pursuing he will find you in the presence of God? Remind yourself about that. Remind yourself whom you are made for. Never be blinded by the concept of your love for that person. God has someone better for you. God has someone waiting for you, too; willing to chase after you and love you just the way you ought to be loved. God will definitely give you your equal.
I hope that you will finally learn to stop over-thinking; to stop fearing; fearing the truth. Let that truth set you free because you know, you deserve to be free. You’ve been there for too long, holding it in as if there’s more hope than that already hopeless case. Girl, your hope is in knowing that you can finally let go so you can finally find the one that is really meant for you. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are kind-hearted. You are a daughter of a King. You deserve to be loved. Wait for it. Just wait for it.
But first, stop the chase and learn to let go. It will never be easy anyway, but you’ll get through it in no time. You will finally be happy you let go. Your countenance will glow. You will be happy and you deserve to be happy. Isn’t it time to be finally happy? Learn to let go. And whenever you feel like it’s difficult, always run to God; cry out to Him and ask Him to hide you and comfort you, because honestly, who else will? God loves you and He has someone for you. Give it all to God. Give it all to the one who authors your life. May it be His will that will be founded in you. You deserve nothing but the best from your Abba Father.
Pull yourself together. Life must go on.