I never thought I’ll have this moment with you. From the day met, I thought you’ll be one of my passive acquaintances. I’m always used to the idea that people in my life find it more easier to walks out as much as it is to walk in. Why is it so easy for you to make me smile? I laugh not because your jokes are funny but because it’s so lame to be considered as one. I like how you rebut my rude bully banters. I find it so clever tho. I like how you make me giggle with your silly immature “hokage moves”. I like how relaxed and comfortable you are around me, much to the point where you see no boundaries even at your smelliest burp and farts. I like how random we do things especially the late night drives and coffee talk conversations. My heart flutters when you do thoughtful things for me. I am in awe of how good your heart is, how clever you are, how effortlessly you attract girls. You should realize that.
The first few months we’ve been closed, I was faced with so many what-ifs and misjudgments. I was hesitant at first because I was reconsidering how our closeness may affect your personal issues with partner. But I have this perspective that, your issues with your family is different from the relationship we are having. Simply because, we’re just close friends and nothings is wrong with that. This time around, I decided to make a choice. For once, that is to ignore their criticism. I choose to keep our friendship.
At times, I felt guilty for being happy around you. I cannot ignore the fact that if she knows, she’ll be upset. I am doing my very best to stay mature in dealing with this, all I ever want is to keep you but at the same time not cause any pain on your end. I want you to know that all of my “ patay – malisya”, “ changed topic” and “ops! Joke” actions is my way of saying “I love you, but it wouldn’t matter cause I’m not the best for you”. I always wanted the rebel image but I was raised well to know how to draw boundaries.
simply, a girl who may seem like having it all handed out easily; but thinks she is unworthy of all that so she tries to make chaos to lessen all the anxiety and pressure she felt. You saw how messed up I am. Yet, you managed to convince me that I am a worthy person. You shared to me stories I haven’t come to imagine, and realize how much I should be grateful of my life. Moments like this made me realize, keeping you is a right choice.
Meeting you is a blessing.