Many people are still asking me if I want him back.
My answer is no. I still think of him as one of my greatest blessing in this lifetime but it doesn’t mean that I still want to build a future with him. It’s a type of love that doesn’t want to crawl back. I realized that maybe we parted ways because God just wanted us to experience the love that we can offer to each other; the type of love that heals and rebuilds broken souls, the type of love that teaches you how to trust, love and forgive. He was the love that I will never regret nor forget.
I believe that you can never unlove a person but you can always find someone who you can love more. Four years with him is no joke and I greatly appreciate his presence but it is what it is. We both needed to let go of all the promises and dreams for the future; to lose grip of all the shared moments, goals that we’ve reached together and our beautiful plans for the future.
He taught me so many lessons and made me realize that love isn’t always the answer, it’s not always colorful and amazing; it is not always romantic and sensational. Love can be ugly and disastrous, it can make you feel alone at night and it can exhaust the shit out of you but at the end of the day, love can still take all the pain away. It’s not about who you love but how you love. It’s not about how the other person loves you but how you love and give importance to yourself. No matter how promising his potential may be, I have to date his reality. And honestly, I don’t think I can still offer the same love that I have given him.
Our love wasn’t perfect and its flaws shaped us to become the person that we are now; broken but functioning, imperfect but still amazing. I have already forgiven this man; he’s far from being perfect but still did his best.
I am not angry with him and I definitely don’t blame him. This is the reality of life. We both decided to end it because that’ll be the best for us. We both needed to grow apart and see the world in different perspective. We have accepted the fact that we are not meant for each other; maybe someday, somehow, when we meet each other again, we will realize why it didn’t work out.
Life shouldn’t always be mixed up with drama and hatred. Whatever life throws at you, appreciate and learn from it. Til then, you can see life the way it’s meant to be seen.
I posted this because many of our friends are still rooting for us. It’s very much appreciated but I’m getting tired of it. I love you all and I know that you just want us to be happy.
And we are. We are happier and glowing. We love ourselves more now. And I can proudly say na hindi namin sinayang ang oras at panahon ng bawat isa.
