Yeah, you read it right. I am 30– T-H-I-R-T-Y. A lady who is never been kissed, never been touched… not even a romantic holding hands. Why I remained single all these years? I don’t know. Maybe, it is just the way it goes.
At this moment of time, some of my colleagues have their own family. Some of my highschool and college friends are in a relationship and even raising their own kids. In reunions, the one who is still single (and unfortunately it is me) will be bombarded with many questions but it will start with this: “Why are you still single?” After that question, it will give birth to another questions such as, “Are you a man hater?” , “A picky one?” and worse, “Are you a lesbian?” It is not that I find homosexuality a bad thing but in my entire existence, I did not find myself being attracted to a woman, too. As in NEVER.
So, let us back to the topic. In our country, according to the survey, the typical Filipina wants to get married at the age of 25. For them, this is the ideal age to get married and form their own bundle of happiness. In this age, they have already a career so what is missing? A family. I think the reason behind it is our culture– what the other people dictates and what the other people think that is pleasing. What a sugar coated world that the people around us created, right?
I am not a pessimist when it comes to love. Actually, I am also dreaming to have one. Someone who will hold my hands even they are sweaty, someone who will say I still smell good after a day’s work, someone who will say, “You are beautiful”, even I didn’t wash my face yet and someone who will say, “I love you without buts, without ifs and without because. I love you because I love you. Period.”
I have been in love before, but it is always unrequited. (Ouch!huhu) I am always on the friend zoned. I am the one who is there for them but they always fall for those who haven’t even took a glance to them. Well, I admit, it hurts but what can I do? It is not my way to force someone I love to love me back or to make them feel what they don’t naturally feel. I want it the way how the law of gravity dictates, let it fall to its own places.
Now, I am still waiting for that person. Call me a hopeless romantic but what can I do? I am a believer of love because my God is the origin of that love. I will never give up on love because it is written in the Bible, “love casts out all fears” so why fear love? So what if the person you love can’t reciprocate the love you feel for him/her? Just love– love freely and love without waiting in return because that is how love should be, and if luckily, that person loves you back, then, congratulations! You found your match!
I think being single at my age is not that bad. I have time for myself. I have time for my family and friends and mostly, I have my time undivided for my Creator, my Savior, my God– Jesus. Because of my singleness I learned to love and accept myself for who I really am. Maybe, the time isn’t the right time yet, or maybe, God stills enjoy His time with me and He can’t let me go and give me to a person who will just break His precious princess cry. I will wait until the time is right, until it is God’s perfect time. For it is written in Ecclesiastes 3:1 and 11 …
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
