I was writing
…when I remember the last time I held this pen
was the time I said “I’m okay”
though it means “I’m in pain.”
…When tears started falling
and I used it as my ink
…when I wrote letters to find peace
but I found no ease
The monsters of my yesterday were coming back
Insecurity, self-pity, and all
Once again, I am surrounded by the dark
Like the transition of summer into fall.
Those were the times I’m most in need
But now I have survived
So I will move forward
and will leave it all behind
When I deleted the page where the letters were written
I realized that it didn’t help
because regardless of where it is now,
it left my heart wounded.