Finally, we’re married.

“Dear“, that’s what you call me. You said that you’ve chose it because for you, it means someone who is close to your heart. You are decade older than I, and it’s almost funny how you tried to meet me halfway.


When I was lost and scared, you were my knight in shining armor. You mean the world to me. You are someone whom I’m willing to give everything I have and you’re someone I’m willing to fight for.
But we’re not on the same page. You’re not willing to let go of your past relationship. You said that you are happy with me, and you’re praying that I will be the one you will marry.

You’re so mean.

And I’m so mean to myself.

The day you said you will meet up and give her a proper closure, I was so scared, but still I trusted you and that you’ll clear that you’re breaking up with her. The whole night feels so lonely, the air is freezing me, and I can’t help but to cry while waiting for your responses, and I don’t know why I’m crying the whole day.

The next morning, you texted me “patawad.”

That time, I already know.

The relationship that ended was ours.

Why can’t I be mad at you? I still protect you from my friends. I still love you, and I know it’s wrong. Forgive me if I still love you.

You marry the girl you said you don’t want to be with anymore. I was there when she left you and I was there to listen to you, to cheer you up, but I think “tayo” just happened because you’re lonely and I like you ever since I was part of the Children ministry.

I can’t say “that should be me”, or ask for another day to be spent with you. I don’t want to find someone like you— I don’t want to be hurt again.

I marry the thought of hope, that someday, the righteous man of God will approach the Lord, and ask the Lord for my heart. He’ll do all the things that a godly man should do.

Still, I am here for you. I’ll pray for you. I know the process of moving on will be a journey, so don’t worry, I will help myself.
May God bless your marriage.