Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
There are times that when you are still searching for the “right one”, you will encounter a lot of girls. And honestly, if they are responsive, it feels good to talk to them frequently. Is that harmless? Hmm… yeah, if you are not in love yet – according to some people. But, the question is, is that really okay to cut all the unnecessary chats because you are in love with someone already? Here is my story and my realizations.
Correct me if I am wrong; if I fall in love with someone – I started to commit myself to her, though no relationship is already established yet. I also tell my closest friends who she is (declaration) so that I can be more vigilant with my future actions and for accountability – so that they can also observe my move, my social media activity – in order to remind me if I am doing ok or not (so that they can correct you).I ended up stopping myself talking to some female friends (especially to the girls that I do not have deeper friendship with- like real sibling friendship). Is that alright to be like this? Or not? Anyway, why did I decide to stop talking to other girls – even to some close friends? I will answer that.
The question is why do we need to stop talking to them even if there are harmless topics – just like hi and hello most of the time, and seldom with some topics – “small talk”. First is that you didn’t notice that you are already forging a bond with other girls (or to a certain someone), without you knowing, you are already defrauding them (that certain someone). Second is etiquette – you can be friends with them even if you are not chatting with them or talking to them everyday and after they post new stories. Third is you will be in the hot water without you knowing; most of them are friends also and you will become their “topic”, and you are burned. You will not know what’s next if you will not be careful with your actions. Regardless if they are part of your circle or on the “other circle”, stop it as early as possible – prevention is still better than cure.
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This is my realization when I decide to tell my accountable friends about her – my “someone special – the apple of my eye”; and my assumptions are right – some of my closest friends noticed that I am following someone before. Knowing that, I decided to cut the rest of my connection (friendly conversation) with other girls for her the earliest, so that I will still have time to fix everything and to correct things while asking for God’s confirmation. While waiting for God’s confirmation if the one you are in love with is the “one”, you should free yourself of anything that will distract both of you. Better be safe than sorry.
The answer to the question “is that really okay to cut all the unnecessary chats because you are in love with someone already?” The answer is a big YES – for your own sake, and for hers as well. Focus on God, His confirmation, and if she is the “one”, then she is worth waiting. Be with yourself and your male friends for a while or be alone for a while. Better be clean in front of her.