Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
It’s hard to be misunderstood by other people, but it’s more painful to be misunderstood by the people you love the most.
They think you are disrespecting them. The truth is, you just want to tell them how you feel and how hard it is not to share it with them because you know that they will criticize it. People you thought would understand you ended up judging you. It’s true that there will be a certain point at which you will explode. Last time I checked, to lead a household, you first had to show gentleness and understanding to your family. But it saddened me to feel this way. You are the leader of the household, but I know for sure you’re not a good leader.
I asked God, “Am I really a worse child?” for all the things I’ve done, “Am I really on the wrong side?” every time I tried to convince myself that I shouldn’t say those words or do it. I felt it in my heart that I needed to voice it out; anytime soon, I would breakdown.
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Why are parents so afraid for their child’s health but not making a healthy space for them to tell what they feel? Is it really disrespectful to be transparent? Some might say, “It depends on how you delivered it when opening it up.” So, I am opening up while crying, not because I am angry but because I think that they look like the nicest people to other people but have failed to understand their children. Children are not perfect either. We make horrible mistakes and decisions. That is why that should be the reason for parents to stretch their understanding because they never know what’s happening in their children’s personal lives.
They are trying to convince themselves that they know their children really well, but no, they don’t. Putting those past traumas on your child and pressuring them to accept things that they are not comfortable with. You raised them, but you can’t trust them? I feel so sad for those parents who are so hard on their children. I hope they understand and choose to build healthy relationships and boundaries rather than judge their decisions in life. What we believe now is what we will become, so if the parents don’t believe in their child’s capabilities, they won’t believe in themselves either. Instead of questioning or judging them, why not show them your support? Correlate not harshly but gently. Show your care with genuine love. At the end of the day, the kindness and gentleness you show your child will reflect on how they view life. Don’t try to convince yourself that they will become like you; decades are gone, and the environment and people are different now. Trust their insights into life and what they believe in. You can enlighten them to what you think is right, but like I said, make a healthy space while enlightening your child because, just as judging and voicing out are disrespectful for parents, they are for children when they get judgment from you and hear you shouting at them and belittling their decisions. I hope parents are not always relying on the old way of parenting. I hope they understand us better as youths in this generation.
