I was so drowned in your love, you were all I was thinking of. Every waking moment up until my eyes shuts on it’s own because it got tired from too much crying.
Your memory lives on. The moment we met, we instantly clicked. That was the first time in my entire existence that a stranger instantly become my confidant. You were different, and I knew that the moment I laid eyes on you.
You lift me up from a devastating heartache, you were my strength, you never let go until I have learned to pick myself up from my downfall. You even led me back to God!
We were each other’s confidant. We knew what went on with each others life, though we only knew each other for quite sometime. You were that special!
Until things turn out the way I never thought it would be, you were just a friend before, solely a bestfriend for you know already a part of my life no one else do. But the inevitable happen. I never knew I would fall for you. It was something I never anticipated nor planned.
You were what I was dreaming of for the longest time. Someone who would not force her way into my life. God sent indeed.
We shared so much happiness, moments I only get to share with you. Things that got me out of my comfort zone. You were something else!
But before I even made the biggest reveal you were taken by someone else. I was that too confident in us. But it was too late for me.
I still had the guts to tell you, and to my surprise you knew it all along, but was keeping it to yourself. You were cool with that, we were still the same. You were still the “Dora” I knew since day one. There is still something special between us.
But I decided to take the backseat to respect your new relationship, though you know I am willing to wait for you. I was there even though I know friendship is all you have to offer.
But then, everything fall out of its place. You were gone! Gone even before the relationship you had was over. I was left alone. Without knowing why. Without explanations to why you stopped talking to me. A part of me knew I was ghosted. But no, I don’t have to question you, because I know all along that I deserve no explanations.
I was left devastated, missing you is my daily routine. Wondering how you are, where you’ve been, hoping you got home safe. It was all I can do. That even texting you is not an option, because your coldness will leave me crying.
You were that special, that I even cried to the Lord because I don’t know what to do. I can’t move a finger. I can’t go on with my day. You were all I was thinking of.
It suddenly strucked me, I have developed anxiety. I had so much fear since the day you left. That I have took so much of my time rebuilding the wall you once broke. I was emotionally, physically and mentally done.
But then I remembered how you lead me back to God, I got nothing, I have no one to count on but Him. Now, He is slowly rebuilding me, showing me the light that I once again lost sight. You were my TOTGA, (the one that God allowed) but you are now my greatest TOTGA (the one that got away). You are the love of my life that I will never have.
To my Dora,
I hope you are getting through your rough days, I hope you all is well in your life. I know someone is making you smile right now the way I used to. I couldn’t be more happy knowing you are good. You are and will be on my prayers. You genuine happiness is all I wish. I love you the way I never though I could. Know that I will always be here for you whenever, wherever. You hold a special place in my heart. I was and will always be in love with you.
