The rush of my emotions, suddenly thrilling all over me. Whenever I see you. Whenever you pass by. Whenever you open up to me. Whenever you’re there. It all felt so magical. You seemed to be nice. You opened your heart to me. I felt your pain when you’re going through difficult times in your life. I felt your happiness when you shared your experiences and success. That’s how close we were. The bond between us seemed to be unbreakable.
And yes, I was always there. I always made myself available for you; but it the end, it made me so vulnerable. Vulnerable, to the point that the inner me is falling to pieces. It’s been countless nights that I’ve been thinking about you, wondering if you think about me too. Is this right? Or would this push me to have expectations that could bring another painful memory in the future?
I wish I could stop this confusion, so I could be free from my illusions. I don’t have a clue. I wish I knew.
But don’t get me wrong. I was glad that I knew you. But the thought of you makes me blue, knowing that what you feel for me might never be true. I wish I could read your mind. I wish you could speak your heart out. And this thought couldn’t seem to get out of my head, “I wish I know what I really mean to you.”
