You want to go back to where things are almost perfectly fine, where you don't chase happiness too much.
You’re always thinking negatively about what is ahead; that is why it is killing your joy.
You’re worried about something ahead that could hurt you so you better not do anything.
You used to write the most pleasant words but turned out to be the opposite.
You are about to mature but turn out to be like an immature kid needing attention.
Unnecessary things are filling your head, building again your walls toward somebody, thinking that you’d rather be emotionally ready when something is about to hurt you. And even if something makes you grateful, you assure yourself that there is a payment for that joy; sadness.
And by that, you start doubting everything like all the emotional security you have, had left.
It all started from pain... ---