Someone knocked on your door. You’ve been single for a year, felt guarded, so you decided to let him in. After a few weeks, you realized he wants to get to know you as a friend. You believed in the saying, “Never assume unless otherwise stated.” So far, no red flags were shown or so you thought. Conversations were kept casual, nothing romantic was involved. You spend all day and night chatting with this person and started to ignore others ‘cause you wanna focus on him more. You both kept the conversation going, making sure it’s continuous and won’t result to dead air. You even swore to yourself, “I’ll guard my heart. I’ll keep it casual. No sweet words. Just friends.” As time went by, you both grew closer and shared your deepest secrets. You felt naked in knowing each other’s past, hurts, life goals, fears, dreams, and desires.. Until you became totally attached to him. The feelings started to deepen. Whenever he’s not around or “seens” your messages, you overthink. You’re perplexed and asked yourself if it’s better to confess it or to keep it. But of course you can’t confess it or else you’ll make everything awkward between the two of you. After taking the risk of keeping it to yourself, you’re now drowning but he can’t dive to save you.. All this time, you also enjoyed keeping the painful fact that he is unsure of you or doesn’t want to pursue you. You’re afraid of rejection that he’ll distance himself from you ‘cause to him you’re just a friend..
Then it snapped to you. “Did I really guard my heart?” Don’t forget that time is the best expression of love. You poured in a lot of time to this person, giving him something that’s non-redeemable. The constant communication resulted to deeper feelings that he can’t even reciprocate. All the sharing of secrets made you emotionally intimate with him. Sadly, you got attached to a person who only see you as a friend.
But.. it’s okay to feel and experience these things. You’re human. There comes a time that we fall deeply to someone. Unfortunately, not everyone can do the same for us. Not everyone has the courage or desire to catch us. I know it’s painful but accepting it helps us grow.
Maybe God sent you this person to teach you something. To be wiser, to make your heart stronger, to strengthen your faith, to seek Him first, to believe that all your heart’s desires will be given to you at His perfect time. This is God’s will for you. No matter how frustrating it is, trust His plans because it’s perfect. He makes all things work together for your good.
Let go and let God. Allow yourself to heal by seeking His presence and keeping in mind of the beautiful promise He has for you. Next time you meet someone, you should already know how to set boundaries. Don’t invest too much time and emotions especially when it’s still uncertain. This time, really guard your heart. Nothing compares to a heart that’s guarded yet willing to love and be loved again.
