They say you’ll know when he is the “one”. “When he comes, you’ll see him as your husband.” “You’ll know it for sure.”

These are some of the statements that I heard from some of the happily married couples whom I know.

I’ve been praying to God for him and for me to be prepared when he arrives in my life. And I believe that He will give me the love story that He personally writes for us.

But what if I felt it with a friend who is already inlove with a girl whom he believes to be her future wife?

It made me wonder why would I see a flash of vision of him as my husband in the middle of listening a service in a church without even thinking of him during that time. I like him, yes I do, since 2 years ago but I am very aware of the reality of our situation that there is no “us”. It started when I gradually saw in him the qualities that I’ve been praying to God: romantic (I saw his efforts towards her girlfriend. Hahaha), with good sense of humor, talented, financially responsible, and most of all, his faith in God. I felt something that I’ve never experienced before. Those scenes that I have seen in movies and animes are now happening to me. Hidden smiles when he noticed me; awkward moments, at least only for me, when we are together; times that I assumed that he was the guy in front of me but it was just another man with the same hair style or same body built or sometimes, with no similarities at all; that kilig moment in merely thinking of him. I mean, I think I am inlove but there are still doubts until I found myself preparing my vow for him when we get married. Seriously?!?! Seriously.

I was so confused becasue I have been praying to God to guard my heart since I want to be pure and whole for my husband. I do not want to invest my emotions with temporary love which is based only on the emotion itself. I prayed and I cried because I think that I am on that situation already, investing my feelings to someone who has no idea of how I felt for him.

I prayed and prayed to God to enlighten me. I know He always has a purpose.

Eventually, He speaks to me. Where am I looking at? Where am I focusing at? And there comes the discernement. I am to focused on having someone who would love me that I am missing Him. I am just reminded of His word in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” This is what I am forgetting and this is what I should do.

It is also written in His word in Ecclessiates 3:1, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Indeed, he has already planned everything and it will fall on His perfect timing. I will wait for him who would love God more than anything or anyone while I am seeking God and having more of Him in my life.

Honsetly, I don’t know yet what those visions are all about but I believe that my first boyfriend would eventually be my husband as He wills.