Most often than not, people search for “love.”
And that’s not a bad thing. But do I really know love?
When I was young, I started watching some wedding videos and keep wedding songs. And I still do ’til this day. These videos made me wonder “will I ever get married?”
I am single and now in my quarter year, I’ve been through a lot of heart breaks and wrong relationships. So I could say that it was really a loooong journey learning love.
Back when I was a teen, I used to think that love is an emotion you feel towards someone and you’re lucky if they feel the same way too! Those years made me think that love is all about skinships, giving of gifts, saying i love yous, and having someone to call your “boyfriend.”
Well having that mindset, I got my heart broken many times, all because I did love the wrong way.
So is there a right way?
That teenage girl came to know the Lord and learned about seasons. Oh boy, I tell you, learning about it and actually doing it are two different things!
I struggled at obeying at first since I’m not used to being single back then. Right things aren’t always the easiest choice you’ll have to make but it’s definitely worth it!
Seasons taught me the art of waiting until I had my very first Christian boyfriend.
And guess what? Got my heart broken again.
I was a young adult that time and I asked the Lord, “is there something wrong in my waiting? Why are all those years wasted?” and again, “will there ever be a man that would want to marry someone like me?“
Along the way, I realized that aside from seasons, process also matters. You cannot skip any step or you’ll be hurt all over again.I had to admit that engaging in that relationship, there were a lot of disobedience and doing things our own way. Somehow, I felt like Christ was not in the midst of us, not because He left but because our relationship was not worth dwelling of His presence.
I had to step back at always trying to find the one for me and evaluate myself in everything that happened. Of course, there were nights of overthinking, there were questions unanswered, there were doubts and fears again.
And an idea crossed my mind to cope up with it.
Metamorphosis.
The process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages. A change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means. (thanks, Google!)
I began to use most of my time knowing God and learning what does He think about me. Worshipped more, served more, and prayed more.
Along the way, I came to like another man from our church too. He’s a long time friend who I knew more in the past recent years. What I did was I involved Jesus in my process of liking this person. All the decisions I made and the control I maintained to be a God-sent woman were really challenging. Not because I pretended, but because leaving old natures behind wasn’t that easy, but opening new doors into a new you – whom God really created you to be is very rewarding.
He did not pursue me. Again, I experienced pain. And that’s okay. 🙂
Because I learned to love right.
Love is God.
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
(1 John 4:16)
It is that simple. Love doesn’t have to be hard because Jesus already did the hard part for me and you. And it is more than just an emotion, it’s a decision to still love everyday even in the absence of feelings, not everyday you’ll feel something towards someone. But you can choose to love that person everyday.
Love is not about skinships but a genuine relationship.
Love is more than just a label. It is lasting, in fact, it is eternal!
It takes a lot of healing and dwelling in Christ to learn love continuously. To experience to love and to be loved at its best.
Love is for you.
