Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
“Bakit kaya ‘di na sya nagtetext?”
“Hanggang seen na lang sya.”
“May nagawa ba akong mali?”
“Para siyang bula na biglang naglaho ah.”
Have you ever thought of this in the past? Perhaps, you are experiencing this at the moment. Maybe you keep on asking what you have done to deserve a hanging moment just like that. What’s odd is, he is just there – alive and living his life and simply ended your connections without bothering to explain. Then my friend, you have been ghosted.
The first time I heard the word “ghosting”, I had this inquisitive interest to learn what the word is all about. Upon searching the World Wide Web, I saw multiple definitions of ghosting depending on its usage that is far more technical in nature. In terms of identified theft, ghosting is the practice of assuming the identity of a deceased person.
In the context of online gaming, ghosting is collaborating with an accomplice using a game’s observer mode to view opponent’s position in order to gain a competitive edge.
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Apart from these technicalities, there is a widespread definition of ghosting which is commonly used by the netizens.
Based on the meaning given by urban dictionary, ghosting is an act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wished to date.
` While Wikipedia defines it as breaking off a relationship by stopping all communication and contact with the partner without any apparent warning or justification as well as ignoring the partner’s attempt to reach out or communicate.
What it means to ghost and be ghosted?
You’re in a relationship. All of a sudden, or maybe without any notice at all, your partner have disappeared, no texts, no calls, and no responses.
Anyhow, ghosting is not limited to official romantic relationships. Informal dating relationships, friendships or even potential relationships may end with a form of ghosting.
For the person who does the ghosting, simply walking away from the relationship is the quick and easy way out. No more dramas, no questions asked, no need for explanations, no need to justify any of their behavior, no need to consider someone else’s feelings.
On the other hand, the person who is being ghosted suffers the most. No closure, no answers to whys, constant feeling of uncertainty and insecurity. At first, you will wonder what’s going on. Then you will realize that the other person wants to end the relationship. You are left hanging, questioning your capabilities, what’s wrong with you or how you didn’t see it coming.
An advice to the ghosted ones.
Brethren, ghosting hurts; definitely a cruel rejection. Yes, it is painful because you are left in the middle of nowhere – hanging. No guidance on where to proceed or how to start again.
Unfortunately, there is no magic potion to quickly forget and recover from your ghosted heart. However, we all have prudent judgment on certain situations and facts of life. It is subjective on how to cope with it. But hey, there is a way.
Feel the pain until it hurts no more. After torturing yourself by going over old photos, saved convos or anything that would show you the whereabouts of your ghoster, try to find a new distraction. Not a new relationship but a good distraction that would make you a better person than you was yesterday. Maybe try a new hobby or better yet, spend time growing in faith and serving God. There, that’s the best diversion you could possibly do.
Life is too short to mourn over someone who does not deserve a single tear in your eye. Spend time with the people who deserve your time, your attention and YOU. Surround yourself with people that help you become a better version of yourself.
Remember, you are worth more than any treasures on earth. There are people who will love you for who you truly are and will never leave you out of the wilderness.
As psalm 139:14 says,” …you are fearfully and wonderfully made….”
er old photos, saved convos or anything that would show you the whereabouts of your ghoster, try to find a new distraction. Not a new relationship but a good distraction that would make you a better person than you was yesterday. Maybe try a new hobby or better yet, spend time growing in faith and serving God. There, that’s the best diversion you could possibly do.
Life is too short to mourn over someone who does not deserve a single tear in your eye. Spend time with the people who deserve your time, your attention and YOU. Surround yourself with people that help you become a better version of yourself.
Remember, you are worth more than any treasures on earth. There are people who will love you for who you truly are and will never leave you out of the wilderness.
As psalm 139:14 says,” …you are fearfully and wonderfully made….”
