Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
NO is a big word that most of us, especially the younger ones, which can’t simply accept. Everyone has their share of rejection at some point in their life. Some rejections are just too easy to forget, but we all know that there were rejections that even deprived us of sleep, appetite, self motivation, and, worse, self-worth.
Not everyone has a strong coping mechanism for getting up after a rejection. All of us have our own ways of diverting our focus from the negative to a positive perspective. Sometimes we divert our focus , if not into a positive, to something neutral. Some decide to sleep longer hours, some into stress eating, and others are into their own sort of escapes. It feels like running 60mph and smashing into a wall. We all got to pick up ourselves somewhere.
After a rejection, it is important to reflect why and how come you were rejected. Most of the time, it is about a preference issue and not just a standard issue. It is more simple to say that people have their own preference despite the standards and qualifications one makes, or gives. “To be preferred by” is different from “to be qualified enough.”
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I’ve listed down are five ideas on how to re-interpret, or, receive NO’s.
NO is a ‘No Offense’
When it comes to people, preference is still the key and not standards. People prefer something or someone than another. Studies demonstrated that rejection has a greater effect on anger and aggression than illegal drugs and poverty. As it turns out, there is a greater chance of blaming on others, or even neutral bystanders, for the rejection experienced. Also, there is a greater risk of turning that anger and aggression inward – self blame. Fault finding within ourselves is a common response from romantic rejections.
By this time, we must interpret NO as ‘No Offense.’ We must learn as well to respect others preferences. Just as we have things and people that we prefer over another, other people also has some level of preference over us, or over what we offer. Drop the offense. Offense is a bait of Satan.
NO stands for ‘Next Option’
The story of how Thomas Edison invented the light bulb is a fascinating example for this context. It is told that Mr. Edison attempted for a thousand times until he finally came with a working prototype of the early light bulb. He said, “I’ve found 10,000 ways that does not work.” When you got rejected, go to the next job available, pursue another ravishing lady, rewrite your thesis proposal, run another mile and lose that fat, work another hour until you’ve made it. Keep moving. It’s easier said than done, but the idea is to see that life has many options, and blessings may come through rejections. Remember, it’s their loss when they said ‘No’ to you.
NO stands for ‘New Opportunities’
Watch out for the opportunity in rejection. Opportunities are privileges for growth, expansion and multiplication. Rejection is necessary for quality. Rejection provides the time to reflect and see yourself in another perspective. Success will not give you that. We just enjoy success when we get it. Go and build up yourself afterwards. The unseen opportunity is progress. “Progress is the enemy of pain,” as one quoted.
NO means ‘Not Out’
Opting out of your dreams is not an option. Opting out (of your life) is not an option as well. Life does not end when it does not work our way. Life, in fact, continues in a direction of uncertainty. We must be certain with ourselves that we are after a dream an not just a person or career. Life ends when we quit. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to not quit on our aspirations.
NO means ‘Never Over’
A ‘NO’ does not slim our chances of success. A ‘No’ does simply slim our success to our chances. We can never manage something that is uncontrollable. We can only work on things that are within our capacity and control – such as our disciplines, and thinking. We come closer to success because the options (who say no) are rejecting themselves out of our criteria.