Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
On your way papuntang mall to buy groceries, you saw this young teenage guy na naka-school uniform at pinapayungan si high school girl.
In your mind, “Ano ba ‘yan, kababata pa, ang haharot na!”
While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:
Sa may entrance ng mall naman, si Sir na naka-suit and attache case, inaalalayan sa braso si Ma’am na pretty at fresh tingnan.
You thought, “Pwe! Maghihiwalay din kayo.”
At nung magbabayad ka na sa cashier, nasulyapan mo sa unahan si Lolo na uugod-ugod, ka-holding hands si Lola.
That was the last straw.
You put down your basket of ramen, bigas, green tea and hand sanitizer, then stormed out of the mall, clutching your chest, your heart squeezed thoroughly by an invisible hand.
Alam mo ba kung ano yung invisible hand na ‘yon?
Sa Tagalog, inggit.
Bakit may mga taong unworthy pero taken na while ikaw, nasa ‘yo naman ang lahat, wala ka pa ring love life?
Sometimes, such envious thought would attack you suddenly, for no reason at all.
Sometimes, it happens when you are tired or lonely.
Minsan nga, kapag hungry ka rin, kasi nawi-wish mo na may BF kang puwede mong suyuin na mang-libre sa’yo ng kini-crave mo.
Madalas, envy hits you too when approaching na ang Valentine’s Day, or birthday mo or may school reunion kayo.
So you entertain yung inggit, dwelling on the reasons why unfair na sila may jowa na while ikaw wala pa rin, kahit manliligaw man lang.
You let envy simmer in your brain, soaking your heart and leaving a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.
Kaya ka bitter. Na-iinggit ka kasi.
You should STOP.
When an envious thought enters your mind, hulihin mo, posasan at itapon sa malayo kung saan hindi ka na nito pwedeng guluhin.
To help you, here are some things you can do when inggit shows up:
1) Recognize Envy as Sin
Alam mo ba na ang envy or covetousness is one of the Thou Shalt Nots sa Ten Commandments?
Yes, you read it right!
It is the tenth commandment.
“Thou shalt not covet.”
Take note, hindi ito pahabol lang kasi bitin if nine lang ang commandments and naubusan na si God ng ipagbabawal na kasalanan.
This actually shows that what is in your heart really matters to God.
Not just your outward deeds.
Envy is an invisible sin.
But it could lead you to do visible offenses.
Hindi harmless ang inggit.
At primary sin ito sa mga mata ng Panginoon.
When you believe and call inggit for what it is, isang malaking kasalanan, you loosen its grip on your life.
2) Recognize Your Emotions
When that envious thought entered your mind, what did it make you feel?
Did you become sad? Angry? Afraid?
If you felt sadness, acknowledge the pain.
Dapat mong malaman na hindi mali makaramdam ng lungkot sa pagiging single.
Part ng buhay dito sa mundo ang sadness and pain.
Kaya suppressing them would be like denying the fact na meron kang braso. Or binti.
Para mong pinuputulan ang iyong sarili ng isang mahalagang bahagi ng iyong buhay tuwing rini-repress mo ang sakit or lungkot na iyong nadarama.
Hindi magiging buo ang iyong pagkatao kung pipigilan or ikakahiya mo ang pagiging malungkot tulad sa fact na single ka pa rin.
Envy may also cause you to feel angry at yourself, at God or at the person you are envious of.
Sometimes, we don’t realize what an angry person we are.
Kung mahilig kang mag-reklamo, manisi ng ibang tao, mang-criticize or palagi kang defensive, these are signs na may anger issues ka.
Example, critical ka sa mga high school students na pa-date date sa milk tea shop kesyo hindi nila pinagkakitaan ang pinambibili nila ng milk tea.
That critical spirit reveals an angry heart.
You must recognize that for you to maintain control over it.
When you become aware of your anger issues, you can then learn how to be angry at the right person, at the right time, in the right way and for the right reasons.
This is a handy life skill whether you end up in a romantic relationship or not.
Finally, does envy cause you to be afraid?
Are you afraid na hindi ka magiging masaya dahil hindi ka magiging tulad ni Lola na may kaholding hands na Lolo kahit kulubot na sya at puro uban na?
Takot ka ba na palaging mag-isa mo na lang bubuhatin ang mga pinamili mong groceries at walang may aalalay sa’yo dahil walang lalaking magmamahal sa’yo?
It is important for you to know how you feel when they surface so that you can be its master.
You must steward your emotions instead of letting them take over your life.
Your feelings are there to serve you at hindi ikaw ang dakilang alalay ng nadarama mo.
So when envy strikes, identify the emotions that it brings to you.
3) Recognize What You Must Do
Now that you know what you feel, you can take na the appropriate actions for you to govern your emotions.
You can start eliminating blame.
‘Diba we tend to blame God kasi wala pa siyang binibigay na jowa?
Or yung sarili natin kasi lagi tayong awkward sa guys.
Lalo na yung ibang tao. Ang fi-flirt kasi nila, ambenta nila tuloy.
Blaming is always the wrong game to play.
Instead, you should take responsibility.
Take the responsibility to pray.
Share with God how you feel and why you feel them.
Your pain and disappointment cannot shock The Lord into disliking you.
He can always handle your sadness, your anger and your fear.
His great love and affection for you can never change.
So draw near to Him.
Pray too for God to change your heart.
It takes a miracle for our hard hearts to transform into a tender and grateful one.
Only God can do this for you.
He is also very interested about your desires.
He will always listen to you.
You will always have His full, undivided attention when you pray to Him.
Take the responsibility to confess your envy to God and to receive His complete forgiveness thru Christ.
Then think of better things. Let your mind dwell on ideas that are pure, lovely, noble and admirable.
Count and thank each thing that you have now na kapag nawala sa’yo bukas would cause you grief.
Like pamilya, trabaho, ‘yang cellphone na hawak mo.
Isa-isahin mong isipin, i-cherish sa iyong puso at pasalamatan na may mga ganito kang blessings.
Take the responsibility to wait actively.
At least 16 years ka ngang naghintay para maka-graduate ka, diba?
Ilang beses ka ring umeffort much bago ka nagka-trabaho.
So wait actively.
There are many things you could rather do than allowing envy to master you.
You are not kawawa for being single and they are not better off for being taken.
Remember that a joyful, grateful and contented woman is always gorgeous.
Such beauty can never diminish despite dark spots, deep wrinkles and a sagging body.
Be that kind of lovely.