Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
You may not know it yet but dating an overthinker is more than just a series of reassurance, surprise arguments and wild imagination. If you are in a relationship with one or you think you are dating one here are 3 things to remember in dating one:
- Reassurance is not just “I love you”
You may think that saying I love you is the best way to provide assurance to your partner but sometimes that is not the case. Your actions is the best way to do it. A phone call, a small surprise even as simple as a hug is a way of assurance. Know their love language, and take the extra step into doing it. It will never be hard to assure them if your feelings are real, the simple gestures of love can be as simple yet very heart warming to your partner
However be cautious, demanding reassurance can be used in a matter that it can be toxic to you, so remember, know your limits as well, never fall for “…..kapag di mo ginawa di mo na ako lab.” That is just plain manipulation and will be exhausting to you. Never fall for self pity to guilt trip you into assuring them you always be around even loving them forever. You may find yourself empty giving everything to them. Communication is key, and if they are still unappreciative of you…YOU WALK AWAY.
While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:
2. Always tell them the truth
Yes, this should be obvious but never think of telling them white lies. Overthinking people are people with trust issues so you need to understand where are they coming from. Telling them even the smallest lies can make them think if you can lie about the small things you can definitely lie about the big things. Yes they trust you but the smallest lie can turn that around. They are being cautious as they were once in the pain caused by lies, understand them.
However, if they are being a psycho over it, meaning you are very true yet they always treat you like a liar. Maybe it is time to talk to them, and sit them down to a intervention. This kind of approach to you can be very exhausting and disrespectful. They can overstep your privacy and individuality and that is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If they think you are still a liar and is always suspicious of you after just breathing maybe it is time to take a break. (just don’t act like Ross okay?)
Hear them out, with all the thoughts in their head they just want you to listen. Listen even if their thoughts can make you say ” You even think of that?” Yes, an overthinking person can always think of 10 ways their hearts can be broken, and hearing their thoughts you can tell them the right things, do the right things and know them more. Understanding their brain is always a challenge but listening is your best act of understanding them. More often than not, they can never say their thoughts and it will just explode as a “toyo” but once you get to hear them out you will know how much they want you in their life.
Food is your best friend, if they are overthinking chances are they are hungry after all those thoughts so grab your burger, fries and milk tea add fruits for healthy points.