It started with a “kain tayo”. I wasn’t hugry at all but i accepted the invitation. That same night, you shared your secrets to me, a stranger to you. I think that moment wasn’t perfect. There were neither butterflies in my stomach nor slow motion effects nor any background music. It was just an ordinary night. And the nights after that?
Nights after that. Whew. There were good and bad nights for you. In trying new restaurants and watching movies, we were together. Also, you would sleep over. We would talk on the phone til 1am. In making big decisions, you would seek my opinion. Your life was an open book to me. In your laughters and heartbreaks I was always there. Because I am your friend. A friend who eventually fell for you. And you knew.
I am JUST your friend. But I stayed. Watched your suitors come and go, guys who showed intentions but eventually disappeared into thin air, boys who couldn’t man up to express clarity over actions. You definitely have a long list of these kinds of guys.
And there’s this one guy you like, who I think also likes you but ended up hurting you eventually, and repeatedly. Made you fall in love. Then one day, gone. I was still there and I saw you. You were devastated. Despite of it, you miss him and you want to be with him. You still want to be together. You are crazily in love.
There are a lot of things now that I can’t comprehend. My feelings toward you after all these, my sadness, my heartbreak. But I can’t stay the same. I won’t stay the same. I can’t watch you destroy yourself. I am here as your friend, to try to give you advice, Godly advice. But that’s your life. My role ends there. Maybe no more frequent and exclusive eat outs, movie nights, sleepovers, late night talks and hearing your stories and cries over one guy.
This is not to build walls, only boundaries. Boundaries to protect our friendship and guard both our hearts. Until you become ready. For now, I need to move on. So I’m letting you go.
