I am the Girl who was never chosen by anyone. I am the girl who always get rejected. I don’t have a pretty face, fair skin and sexy body and I think that is the reason why boys don’t find me that attractive. And also, i find myself boring and ugly, thats why sometimes, i just feel eveyone dislikes me.
It was really painful not to be chosen. Like, having feelings for someone, you take the risk of by getting into a competition that you dont know if there is a chance of winning. In friendships of four or three, where sometimes two of them really likes each other, they have the same likes, hobbies, etc. and you will be left alone, cause you can’t relate with them. In classrooms, where you did your best, but it was not enough to be chosen, cause, you are not the favorite or someone is more better, smarter than you.
I experienced all of that, and maybe some of you, also. It was hard to be always left behind, and being unwanted. I cant describe the feeling but it feels like, you are alone in an empty room.
So, i started wondering, how it feels to be chosen, to be a priority to someone. I badly wanted to feel that kind of feeling. I tried to be, you know,to be better but i think it’s not enough. Maybe, im stuck to be unwated.
Despite of that, i have this hope that someday, I will meet someone, who will choose me, and will love me for who I am.
But, it seems everything is not what I expected. I am an adult now, basically, because im working. I thought, it is easy to find someone that will love me. But, im wrong, totally wrong. Because, until now, i am still unwanted. Like, i dont know why. I really dont know why.
And now, im tired of hoping that someone could choose me. I mean, i still believe in love. Like i am a certified hopeless romantic. Im still into love stories, love songs. But im just tired thinking, when will I have my own love story. Maybe, i am forever alone. But i badly wanted to have my own family, my own kids. I dont know what to feel anymore..
I just wanted to be loved.