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To The Girl Who Thought She Could Never Be Loved

To The Girl Who Thought She Could Never Be Loved
Categories Relationships

To The Girl Who Thought She Could Never Be Loved

Dear beautiful,

At some point in this life, you may have been defined ‘pretty’ or ‘charming’ or given a phrase when you entered that room and you wowed everyone –‘what a stunner’. Or could be, you were the one who was never given such compliment and has been thirsty for flowery words from your crush, friends, your own family – but has always been just a crowd.                     

Guess what, you are the crown.

Do you remember that one time when your ex-lover could not help it anymore and he kissed you in the going-down escalator and told you how lucky he was? News flash – he was just showing off to public how much of a trophy you were, and that he was a winner for having you. And he definitely was a winner and yet a loser for hurting you over that girl he met on Tinder.

He may have said that you were ‘beautiful’ that one time you went out on a date, you were wearing that mini black dress and stilettos while you were under foundation and mascaras and a lippy. But love, you were defined in the wrong manner, in the wrong sense by the wrong guy. Then you broke up. Then they broke up and he was chasing you and you could not just resist him telling you that you are beautiful. He said you’re like a morning coffee; hot and sweet, like the stars in the night – twinkle the brightest, that you are like an ocean – huge but undiscovered. Yes, he was that lame. And you gave in. And you ended up being with him in a friend’s bathroom, on his grandma’s couch, in his room, in every possible room he could have a way with you. And he, again, broke up with you.

You are more than that.

You are not your ex’s morning coffee because you cannot be contained in a cup. You are the morning – full of assurance. You light up and it is always the best part of the day and we wake up to you. You are not the stars, you are the evening sky, you let the stars shine as you humble yourself but still stands out above all – looming in the background to make us know our potential. You are not the ocean nor the sea nor the river, you are more than deepness, high tides and lows, you are liquid; you have melted for beggars, workers, for children. You are more than a 20-minute bathroom sex, more than a two-minute cigar break because you are designed for more than what the flesh could offer. You are more than that.

You might have been found by your ex-lovers in a coffee shop, ordering a hot Mocha with Raspberry syrup and whip cream and told you -“oh, how sophisticated,” but the Lord, when you lost track, has found you – broken and broke, shabby clothes, frizzy hair, teeth gap, fats, freckles and scars but still defines you beautiful. He redeemed you. He transformed your heart. He has made you new. Because love, you are. Sacred and innocent like a morning dew.

You are. And I, I am all over you.

I cannot just imagine how much of a creation you are. I did not know that God could put lungs and let a beauty breathe. How amazing the Lord is for making my heart as patient and as faithful as it is right now and truly, He has reserved me the best.

There were days that I was close to giving up and giving in but His grace is ever sufficient to make me realize that I was no King for my Queen yet – that I needed to be firm and wait for you. I have waited for you. God has made things beautiful in His time that He has completed us even before we met.

You are a woman of God, the rays of the morning sun reflect on your eyes. You are not a shoe looking for its perfect lace neither a frame waiting for a photo to be with so it can stand beautifully on a table. You are complete without a man. And so am I without a woman. We have been both raised and made alive and complete by God and I desire to enjoy that completeness with you.

And no matter how much I have prepared in meeting you, I still stumble and find myself in awe with everything that you do. You make me panic so bad, I have to exercise proper breathing. You are more beautiful than all dreams, Sunday mornings, old songs and lullabies combined.

At this very moment, you might be all over a Haruki Murakami book or a Josh Radnor film or maybe, you are drowning yourself in a Leona Naess song, but no matter what you’re doing right now, I want you to close that book, pause that film, plug out those earphones and take a moment to appreciate how beautiful you are. No clutter can make you any less. And soon – you’ll come out, like a ray of sun after the storm. And you’ll realize life isn’t about this temporal madness because we are – by the grace of the living God – eternal.

You give so much beauty in this life, you bear a child and that makes you shine the brightest, come out the strongest and look the finest. From crib to your deathbed, when you’re 80 years old, grey hair, weak knees and wrinkled face. You are beautiful. You always are. You always will be.

Love,

Your future husband