To The Man I just Used to love
Categories Confessions

To The Man I just Used to love

Time check: 2:40 AM

Guess what? Hanggang ngayon gising pa ako. Di kasi ako makatulog ng maayos. Blame my Anxiety. Naalala mo mahal, pag ganitong oras, mga late midnight, pag break time mo sa work, magchachat ka sakin kahit alam mong tulog na ako. You even sent corny but sweet messages to me at this time. Binibigyan mo ko ng update sa mga ganap mo. That’s what i like about you. You always find time for me even I didn’t ask you to.

Then, everything changes mahal. You’re the man now i just used to love.

Today, my phone is as lonely as me. It’s desolate.No messages, no chats, no video calls, no phone calls no voice mails from the person i expect to greet and call me. Just nothing. It’s not lively anymore just like the way it used to be. Kaw kasi sinanay mo ko sa LDR communication. Nahirapan tuloy ako mag adjust.

Sabi mo sakin dati mahal na you will never let go of this journey to eternity. You promised mahal. That’s what you said. Idk for how long i had to still hold on to that promise. All i know is that you choose to leave. You still choose to leave than to stay. I know, masaya ka na ngayon sa bagong buhay na pinili mo. At alam ko din na di mo rin pinagsisihan yun kasi it’s your decision.

I miss you so bad mahal. Nalulungkot ako kasi namimiss kita sobra. Para akong tinutorture everyday and night.Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang umiyak ng umiyak. Wala akong ginawa kundi ang mamiss ka. Miss ko na ang lalaking minahal ko dati. Miss ko na yung taong pinaramdam sa akin na mahalaga ako at di nya ako matitiis na nakikitang umiiyak at nasasaktan. Ang i think, that person is gone. You are now gone.

Mahal, how can i forget you? How can i erase this feeling? How can i unlove you?

I really hate this feeling. So desperate for you to come back but I’m so helpless.How can i? You dont even want me anymore. You dont even need me. How can i fight for us if i am only the one who is fighting? Am i being too hard to myself?

I really really need you right now.

Mahal, nakakapagod din pala umiyak pero i have to para maubos na lahat.

They say the reason why we’re so sad about something is because that something had made us too happy. We’ll i i guess they’re right. You made me so happy mahal that’s why i am feeling this right now.

I love you so much. Don’t worry, i don’t have plans to bother you anymore. Kahit ganito lang, sapat na. Kahit wala ng reply mula sayo, okay lang. I know we already have our lives to keep.Gusto ko lang masabi to lahat lahat. Ang hirap kasi ikimkim sa loob. Masakit sa puso.

Kahit ngayon lang, maibsan lang lahat ng lungkot at sakit na nararamdaman ko.

Hayaan mo nalang muna akong ganito. Hayaan nyo nalang muna ako na ganito.

I hope miracles work out even this time.
God is my Master Healer.
Time is my only bestfriend.

From:
Just an Ex

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