unCERTAINLY there!

Every person definitely have dreams they want to come true, goals they want to achieve, place they want to visit or even become the best version they want to be. People wanted to live in a 4-story house with penthouse and swimming pools in it; to manuver a red sports car with a loud music on, while driving down the road; to sail on a yatch with a private captain on the board; or to fly around the world on a private jet treated like a VIP. Dreams, big or small is believed to always do come true.

Do you stare at the night sky and ever wish on a shooting star? Do you walk on the streets just to find a dandelion and wish on it? Do you ask your sister to break a wishbone with you while both your eyes are closed? Or maybe do the usual thing to wish when you blow your birthday candle? Well, you can’t break the funny traditions people do to make their dreams come true. But have you ever tried planning out your life on your own time frame about the things you wanted to achieve, dreams you wanted to come true or places you ever wanted to go, and writing it on your prayer notebook hoping it will all be checked like things on a bucketlist?

The agony of waking up so early everyday not to get marked late on your classcard and the late night sleeps just to finish all piled up requirements in your major subjects. The long wait is over by the time you wear your toga and graduation cap, and make that slow motion walk going up on stage when your full name is called, reaching out for your diploma while slowly exiting a chapter of your life and entering a new one. Getting your bachelors degree and license at 21, you would already have made a time table of what you would do in your life or probably anticipated when will it all happen. With pride to what you have just accomplished, you see yourself competent as anybody else in the world you are about to take in to. Determination flows out your hearts’ burning desire to finally get the job you always wanted and make a difference from the life you used to have. It has already planned out on your bucketlist that when you reach the age of 25 you already finished your Masters Degree, and get a stable job as a preschool teacher in any countries such as Japan, Australia or New Zealand. Having planned to stay abroad for a couple of years saving money to help your family, and at the same time building your career. At the age of 28 you imagined yourself having a cafe and a tiny house of your own, and even having that dream boyfriend at 29 (the legal age for my mom😅). By the time your age is out of the calendar, you get married with the man of his words, the man who sees your worth and definitely the man who leads you closer to God. In your perspective, everything would fall perfectly on its place how you wanted it to be, like seeing through the big picture of a jigsaw puzzle.

On the other side of the dreamy life you drafted on your own appears to be just a scrap of the actual manuscript. You get to know how the wind blows in the opposite direction, that things aren’t going your way. You failed to get your Masters degree on time when you stopped right before the finish line. The stable job overseas seem to be in your house as full time cook, care-taker, carpenter, veterinarian of some sort (force feeding 6 poor little puppies trying to survive from parvo virus, and having gotten to watch them die one by one was tormenting💔, luckily 1 cutie still made it💗) and other responsibilities you didn’t expect yourself to get tangled into. Knowing your parents are in the verge of bankruptcy and you can’t seem to be of help on their financial trouble is depressing at the same time. And to add up to that, you declined the job opportunities abroad since they cannot support you financially at the moment. You tried to find jobs to help them and yourself but you failed to get in; even selling your preloved clothes and your laptop online doesn’t even work; or borrowing money from your friends is also a dead end. Rock-bottom, all your ways are saturated and you just can’t seem to get anywhere.

1, 2, 3…23, 24, 25 can never be counted backwards with age, people do not grow any younger. Every time you get a year older you feel like you’re losing time and opportunities. When you move towards the end of each year, you look back and ask yourself what progress have I made in life? Did I accomplish anything? Will I make it to the next level? Then you find yourself going nowhere when the things didn’t turn out the way you planned it. And you feel like you didn’t do enough to get what you wanted.

However, despite every failure and emotional suffering, you were dumbfounded that your aspirations blindfolded you. Having reached your set goals is not the mere definition of being progressive in life. It was selfish of you to get control of your life and planned out every details of it. No matter how depressing your situation is, you are always reminded through mysterious ways how blessed you are in life with things unseen. By simply breathing and being able to get up every morning is literally a progress in life for you are still given a chance to experience God’s grace in the midst of your hardships. Remember that you are like a beautiful waterlily in a pond full of unwanted substances. Same is true in life itself here on earth, there are countless unwanted things that you don’t want to get in to you yet these things are purposely there in order to bring out your inner most beauty. That God is molding you through these things to make your heart stronger and to experience more of His love that has always been there. With the tears on your eyes and the aching of your heart from failures in life, you always find your way to Him knowing that you are loved no matter what.💕 Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding; In all your heart acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.