Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
Failure is something that most people tend to avoid, especially where romantic love is concerned. After all, who wants to fail at something? A relationship often takes a lot of work, and it’s essential that you know how to deal with the failure, so you don’t turn into something or someone destructive in the long run.
Here are the things that you should be doing after a failed relationship:
Accept what happened
Before you do anything, you need to accept the failure. Accept the result. Accept that it’s over. If you want to cry about it, then wail your eyes out. If you’re going to complain and shout at the mountaintops, then you can do that. If you want to go out all night and party, then go ahead but make sure you party responsibly. Do what you need to cope with the loss, the pain, and the wasted months or years.
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The bottom line is that you accept what has already passed. There will never be a new beginning if you can’t take the end of something. If you don’t recognize that it’s over, you will be chasing the same situations and things that used to hurt you.
Realize that pain is not your enemy
Pain is an effective indicator that something is wrong. And like all other forms of pain, it will soon pass. Let the current pain be a reminder of the things you need to fulfill for yourself. Remind yourself that you are still a whole person even after he or she is gone. The pain you feel is just a phase, and the sooner you resist feeling it, the sooner it will go away.
The main point is that your pain should be an important indicator of what you should avoid next time. Always remember that what doesn’t kill you can make you stronger and that a scar is stronger than actual skin.
Take the lessons from the experiences
We have been taught to think that the opposite of winning is losing. That binary train of thought is destructive and counter-productive. When you lose something, you should gain something back in the form of lessons. When you fail a friend, you learn to be a better friend. When you lose your phone, you learn to be more careful with your things. When you lose a lover, you will learn something to help you with the next relationship.
Every experience, good or bad, has a corresponding lesson for you to learn; and it’s crucial that you think about the lessons, so you don’t make the same mistakes in your next relationship.
Your life is not supposed to be lived backward. Once a relationship is over, you accept what happened, learn the lessons, and move past it. Go forward and live the next day. Stop thinking about the past, and keep yourself busy with the present and future. Don’t go back to the relationship that destroyed you, unless you want everything to end the same way.
They say that aging is mandatory but growing up is optional. It’s crucial that you don’t waste the values and lessons of your failed relationship.
Live life to the fullest
A failed relationship is not the end of the world. Even if you’re reeling from the hurt and heartaches brought about by the failure of what was once your world, you still need to brush the dirt off and live. Find new hobbies, meet new friends and have more adventures. Be the whole person that you once were, before someone else became a part of your life.
If that failed relationship resulted in a kid or two, you could focus your energy on your child/ren. Rest assured that you will find a partner if you continue to shine and do your best. You’re going to be okay. Good luck and share this post if you know someone who needs to read this!