Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

Try thinking about it. In a world where everyone tries to define something by what fits for them, everyone has their own definition of something. I believe one of the words that are being mistakenly defined is manhood.

The first definition that our father or some adults that influence us is that becoming a grown man is sleeping with different women (Really?). Another is having a lot of girlfriends (Seriously?). And lastly, being a real man is not being in touch with your emotions, or not really having any emotion at all (Though, it’s impossible, I know). Those are just the most common definition that this world is providing to the young generation but when is a man really becoming a man?

Come on! We know what being a real man is. We just don’t want the real definition of it because it limits us. Everyone is blindly dating and what bothers me is that even elementary students do this and it is becoming an accepted trend or part of our culture when it shouldn’t be. This is the reason why the majority of women have trust issues and there are kids who hate their father. We are being educated to follow what everybody is doing. “Everybody is doing it, it must be right, right?” Those who follow the crowd usually gets lost in it.

While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:

I believe the best definition of being a man is Jesus. Not the serious looking Jesus who never jokes that Christian movies show. The Jesus that is really Jesus. The God that jokes (I think God has a sense of humor, too. He spoke through a donkey once. —That’s funny, right?) The Jesus who leads people to follow what God desires. The Jesus who didn’t care about social status that’s why He talked to the Samaritan woman and even ask for a drink! (Rabbi’s during their time, especially Jews don’t associate themselves with Samaritans). The Jesus who is in touch of his emotions when He cried because Lazarus died. The compassionate Jesus who cared about the widow. The Jesus who is after the heart and not what the other person, a woman, for example, can give (Ooops, sorry to those who take advantage of women’s vulnerability). Lastly, the Jesus who is “committed” to what He started.

I believe that the world will never be able to give us a definition of manliness that will suffice. You might ask, Jesus never dated, so, how can we base it on Him? I agree. But we can’t ignore the facts on how He treated those who can do nothing for Him. I believe being a gentleman starts there. By being selfless. That no matter how hard you try to guide a woman when the two of you is crossing the street, when you open the door for her, pull the chair for her, give her flowers and serenade her with songs, those are not enough if you only do it to her but not to your mom or sister and your not so attractive colleague. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to say that you should treat her the way you treat everyone else. Of course, there is a distinction between your relationship with the woman you’re courting with different women. What I mean is the respect that we should give them regardless of their color, age, race and etc.

Being compassionate, caring, romantic and in touch of your emotions doesn’t make you a weakling. What will make a man weak is when he keeps on showing buff muscles but he can’t even try to stick with one single woman alone? A man is weak when he promises to lead others when but the truth is he can’t even lead himself. A man is not a man when he is not taking responsibility. A man is not a man when he thinks like a kid and just follows those who are opportunistic and fake gentlemen are doing.

Start living like Jesus today. Become the man that the woman (not plural) of your dreams is praying for.

Send me the best BW Tampal!

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Patrick is an INFJ, an introvert with a quest to equip boys of his generation into becoming the real gentlemen that this society and mediocre dating culture needs. He writes articles, songs and poetry. He have this mini library in his room full of books about morality, gentlemanhood and spirituality. He is a musician, a Christian apologist by discovery, an athlete and a military enthusiast.