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The very first time I saw you, I must admit that I could not get off my gaze at your strangely simply quite attractive face. My eyes subconsciously followed you until you disappeared at the sight. At that moment, I was unaware that later, you would affect my life in a very special way.
Several months have passed when I saw you for the second time. That time, you looked right through my eyes. I could not move. It was as though I was frozen in time but I could feel my heart skipping several beats as I looked right back through your soulful eyes. I still remember that moment as fresh as a newly captured photograph. But another memory was even more magically serene. It was the very first time I heard you laugh, it was as if it’s the first time you have ever heard a joke on earth. At the very thought of these, at the very thought of you, I thank the Lord for He has enabled our two different paths to inadvertently cross, subsequently align and temporarily be one — for a reason that perhaps, I can only guess (because only Him knows why).
As I walked through the path with you, I come to extricate your world and know you more. I got a glimpse of your reality and I have been permeated by the warm glow coming from your genuine soul. Your faith, expressed by your intuitive kindness and passionate love for others surpasses the other thousands good characters of men all put together. Your love for the Lord is far greater than mine and your profound character reminded me that finding the right person in this broken world is not that far from possible.
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But you made me realize one more precious thing which casted a hallmark in my heart of which I shall never forget: that happiness in love is more than finding the right person– it is becoming the right person.
That was why you decided to leave. And I chose to let go.
You left to become even more mature; I let go to be even more refined in what I say, how I think and what I do.
You left because you heard He was saying you something; I let go because I heard His voice telling me to prosper first in widening my horizon so that in time I will have something to say.
You left because you want to diligently pursue and win God’s heart first; I let go because I want to intimately know Him through getting close to His side than anyone or any other tantalizing and transient things this world offers.
You left to soar higher; I let go to strain forward for my quest.
You left for you believe that love is never in rush; I let go for I believe that love endures however far the distance or no matter time has gone ages.
You left to avoid getting riled by your own decisions but instead leaving it at the discretion of the most prudent Father beyond all comparison; I let go to avert hinging on my own plans but to fully depend to the greatest plans of the wisest Writer of all season.
You left to dissipate and vanquish the desires of your flesh; I let go to let my Lord fill my heart the right desires and pure intentions.
You left for you want Him to richly nurture your soul and keep it Holy; I let go for I want Him to rule me and make me more Godly.
You left to show Him you love Him by obeying Him; I let go to show Him I deferentially honor Him that I am willing to lose someone whom I learned to hold second dearest in my heart next to Him– you.
Yes. You. But now, I have this deep desire to lose you.
I want to lose you today, so that I will be worthy of gaining you in the future. I want to lose you today because I want Him to make me more like Him– clothed in godliness, love, strength and dignity. I want to lose you today because I want to be more connected to the ultimate source of love so that I can give you a more selfless and unfaltering kind of love.
Our once united paths may have severed now. But the beautiful thing is, they will be straightened to their right directions because we let Him do the leading.
I will never know when they shall cross again and be one once more or ever will they meet again. I do not know for as only human, it is impossible to foresee what lies ahead and in the end. So I will not seek for any assurance that it is still you in the end.
But I will not stop praying for His will.
I will not stop praying to Him to continually remind my heart that nothing is more reassuring than entrusting an unknown future to a known God. I now forget the future I have planned for myself, to gracefully accept His noble plan which is always far beyond grander than my utopian hopes.
To the man I have long since been dreaming, you were right when you said that things are always sweeter on its proper time. Only heavens can tell if it’s still us when that right time arrives. And if that right time does finally come, I would like you to know that I will still choose you as long as God permits me to. But for now, I am wholly submitting to His will because I do not want to ruin His plans for me and for you.
For now, like you, I will trail the road with Him alone so that when the day comes you ever decide to come back, I will be certain that you came from my Divine Beloved; you are the one He has sent as my greatest treasure here on earth. Because by that time, through patience in waiting that seems to have no end, He has at last, made me the right person for that right person. He has already accorded me the eternal values and enough wisdom to decipher which one is truly rich and rare from that which is not and is only momentary.
How our story will continue and the purpose why our paths have met or when will they cross again, I can only guess. But if this love is true and is really part of His noble plan, our paths shall cross again and will be one– and unlike lost love stories, it will not be only for a moment or a season or for a reason– but for a lifetime.