She was an old soul. Living her life alone, but at peace. She’s in solitude, not until you came. You knocked on her door with all the courage and hope that she’ll let you to enter. But she built too many walls making it hard for you to break in. You had the audacity to knock her walls down and yes, you triumphantly knocked them down.
She let you enter her world of blacks and whites. You were happy with her and she was happy because of you. Until you saw her flaws. She understood.
She was a complicated girl.
She has her mind full of complicated thoughts.
She worries about her future.
She worries about what may happen if she failed.
She worries about everything.
She worries about you. Leaving.
She was a complicated girl. She understood.
She knows she couldn’t make you happy.
She knows you can’t handle complicated girls.
She knows it won’t be long enough before you leave.
Believe me, she knows.
But she took the risk also believing that you’ll be brave enough to get pass through her hurricane. Little did she know you were afraid of storms. She was afraid that the moment that she’s lost on her tornado of thoughts, you won’t be able to save her. She was afraid but she took the risk because she love you.
She love the way you calm her in the midst of her painful thoughts. She love the way you encourage her to be strong, not for you but for herself. She love the way you care for her when everyone else doesn’t. And most especially, she love the way you loved her.
But then you left, just like what she’d always thought.
In the middle of her ranging storm, you seek for another place to stay. Someone that makes you feel comfortable. Someone warm. Someone who isn’t her.
She was your home. But you left your home for a shelter. You can’t handle her storms, she understood.
Now the storm had passed and the shelter you seek for comfort and warmth is now a wreck. Funny that the home you left is standing still, waiting for you to come back.
She knows you can’t handle complicated girls. Believe me, she knows. But still, she wants to take that risk with you. Believing that someday, you’ll learn to embrace the storm that’s ranging without looking for another shelter. Believing that someday, you’ll know what it feels like to be home – to be with her.
