Hi,
This will be my last email to you.
For the past months, I’ve been failing in all the aspects of my life – my work, family and friends. I just realize this lately, how ugly It is to live in the past, in regrets. You are living in a life of failure. My mistakes are not me; they’re just a part of my past. And my past is just a small amount of what my future could be.
Today I am trying my best to get back to myself. I am letting you go. Letting go of everything we had. I am now ready. I love you so much even up to today but loving and keep choosing you is losing me. I cannot lose myself. Life has so much to offer to me and I keep on missing them because I keep on focusing on my pain. I still have dreams that I need to fulfill, there are still aspects in life that I could win.
I am now moving on. I need to forget you. I deleted everything that would remind me of you. Every text messages, social media messages, even your number, all our pictures, your letters, your clothes, all your gifts, everything. I need to forget you, in order for me to move forward. I don’t like you to be part of me anymore. My love for you is killing me. I need to stop torturing myself. I am still valuable. I will try to fix myself, be whole again by myself. That I can be complete without someone being part of me. I am claiming it and I know I can do it. Gagalingan ko maging single!
One motivation for this is knowing that your happy. Honestly, I really wanted to message you about it. How it became so fast. How did happen, is it really after or during our relationship? But I choose to keep it to myself. It was the hardest phase – crying every day, blaming myself. Ang sakit sobrang sakit! Painful is so underrated term to describe the emotions I felt when I confirmed everything. It took a long time before I was able to absorb everything. What really helped on this phase is God. I surrender all my suffering to Him. Every time I am in pain or get angry with you I just pray and pray, anywhere, everywhere. I pray to Him that He would help me see good in this situation. Until I was able to see clearly. I will repeat my first sentence “knowing that you’re happy”. It was everything I prayed for you. Even we broke apart I never stop praying for your happiness, I only want the best for you. Maybe things that happened were meant to happen to lead us into the right person.
I forgive you and I accepted everything. I know your happy right now. And you deserve it, everyone deserves to be happy, even me of course! I forgive you for all the pain you have caused me. I hope you could forgive me too. We had an amazing relationship – genuine, real and honest. I am glad that I have experience that kind of love. But some things are just not meant to be. No one will ever be good enough for the wrong person. Maybe things just don’t work out for us because we are not the one for each other. You are reserved for someone else.
After I sent this email I will block you in facebook. I will now forget you. I will now choose myself. I will make use of all the me time I got! I will improve myself, change what needs to be change. I will better.
Goodbye
*I wrote this on the year 2019. I never thought that this was still saved on my files. May mga nakapatong lang ngayon na files sa keyboard and poops naopen to, so I posted it. Now, year 2021, I gone through another heartbreak, more of that when sinipag ulit ako mag sulat. HAHA. But I can finally say that I was really over to the person I was referring to on this letter and I am truly happy for both of you malapit na kayo mag 3 years. HAHA. True indeed that time is a great healer, just be patient and hold on, we have GOD, He is all we need.*
