2018. You were the toughest year. You really tested my faith in God. There were times that I’d like to give up. Oh, how hard it is for me to fight the urge to take my precious life away.
You stripped everything from me, but you know what, thank you because I’m loving it.
Some say, are you crazy? Why would you want to stay being broken?
Yes. It’s crazy.
I love to have my heart broken over and over again.
I love crying every night.
I love to be left alone.
I love how darkness surround me.
I love the way people mock me if I haven’t healed yet.
I love it when, I have this progressing disease becomes so incurable.
I love how hard to pass every entrance examination, finish school and pass the board exam.
I love it how people leave me, without saying anything.
I love it how people degrade my worth and use my past against me.
I love how life makes everything so unfair.
Why is this so? Because when I am weak, I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
I’m not romanticizing my pain and troubles, but I anchor my hope and future to God’s promise.
I may break my heart million times, but I know that God will heal me and shape me the way He wants me to be.
I may be crying everynight, but I know I am being planted to where I should grow as a servant of Christ.
I may be left alone, but it’s okay. More quiet time with God whom I can be myself without fearing to be judged.
I may be surrounded by darkness, but I know the Light will shine through and guide me.
I may not be healed yet, because it’s gradual and the growth will be beautiful and I will not lack anything to my next journey.
I may not be physically healthy, but someday this story will be a testimony.
I may not pass or excel on my academics but I know God has plans for me to prosper.
I know people left, but God will send the right people. More than you expected.
I know people may see me as worthless one but God says I am His masterpiece.
I know I have an ugly past but God makes all things new again and those scars will add more beauty in me.
I know life is unfair but God is a god of justice.
Yes. I know it’s hard to install these kind of words in our hearts. Be patient with yourself, God has been patient with you. And it’s the only one thing He asks,
“Obey, Be patient and Trust Him.” God sees us through all the seasons in our life.
Because I believe that everytime we carry our cross for God, the reward will be amazing. Hope for eternity. He has so much in store for us.
Matthew 6:33. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
