IT WAS NOT LOVE
Categories Move On

IT WAS NOT LOVE

It took me years to realize that it was not love,

I was just lost and seeking on the process

I told myself that maybe in another season of our lives

You could love me the way I thought I was

That is why I waited

I was fighting for that kind of love

That maybe somehow you will look at me

And consider me to be that ideal woman

But you never did because you can’t find that in me

Yes,  It makes me feel sad and hurt

I tried to risk myself through its uncertainty

and still manage to give all I have

Even though it was not necessary

You told me to stop this feeling

Cause you can’t replace it with what I deserve

For you, I was just too good to be true

To became that ideal woman

That time I didn’t accept it as a rejection

But instead take it for reconsideration

In a way that somehow you will change your mind. Crazy  isn’t it?

I was very desperate

For begging that love for a very long time
That was not meant for me
But for someone else

Indeed hearts can really be deceiving

Fooling us until we lose our sanity

Then became shattered afterwards

We just dream to be loved back and give our love in the same way

To someone we thought they are the one

But  not God wants for us

It will never be right, never

Though we know they have the chance to do it for us 

We still go back being prisoned by our own feelings 

Blinded of hoping that it could justify

Our emptiness and insufficiency

It’s just became messy

After all, though love left us confused

True love still exists

In a way that it can help and build as back

To the moments that we don’t chase love

But takes us for redirection and clarity

Where we don’t have to begged

Where it never troubles our heart but gives peace

Where it heals and find us comfort

That one day ,

We can experience the love we have prayed for…