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A letter to my first love, and our failed friendship.
Hooh! It takes a lot of courage to send this, It’s been a year or two since I ended our friendship.
Time flies so fast and I never thought I would be still writing letters on such a random day of August and I know I’ll never send it to you. Up until I decided to do so. I know that you don’t recognize me as someone you once become your friend anymore and if I’m right, I’m not so glad to confirmed that you do. I know somewhere in this universe you only considered me as a stranger who happened to betray you. I guess I betrayed you for letting myself fall in love with every action you have shown me when we were friends. I guess I betrayed you somehow. Writing letters has never been so hard when my subject of words is all about you. I know, I already asked myself why did I create this letter, what’s the point of saying these words? What is it all about?
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Well, I think my biggest fear is saying goodbye to our friendship and I guess it haunts me every night before attempting to meet my sleep, I treasured every moment I had with you and I regret disappointing you in a way you didn’t expect. I mean, remember the last moment we talked? I remember throwing words that I knew were below the belt to begin with, remember those moments where you found out my rants through Twitter? That immature action of mine. I regret taking immature action that would ruin our friendship. I don’t want to live with regrets as I continue my life. And I guess, I have to let go of some regrets to be free so I can enjoy this season of life where being 18 years old will give me a new door to finally let go of something that bothers me for the past 2 years of my life.
I was sixteen when I first met you if my memories are clear enough to say so. It was one of the best years of my life. Being your friend was my favorite part of it. I enjoyed every moment I had with you, your rants, your ups and downs, and that one moment I saw you cried because of your ex. Indeed, falling in love in your purest years of life is painful. After that, you treat me a coke float and you laughed because you said I was lucky I had the chance to see you breakdown just like that, and it’s fine if you don’t remember those moments as much as I do. That’s just a little flashback anyway.
Is the letter long enough? Does it bore you? If it does, my apologies. you’re a great person. Sabi ko sa sarili ko noon, I would still be right here, at your back. Somewhere you won’t see. Sabi ko, I would forever keep my promise and that I would never leave, but I end up ruining our friendship. You don’t have to respond to this. I also know new doors will knock and a new opportunity will come to you as your college life continue, engineering ba ang kukunin mo? I remember that it was your dream and I hope it’s the same thing. Even if we’re not friends, or I’m just another failed friendship you had in the past, I would still be proud of you. I would still be amazed by your ups and downs because that only means you are living your life to the fullest and that’s enough, I still have a book of letters I wrote before, and it was all about you, I guess I will end this message right here. Free yourself from the chaos of your own thoughts, and continue to be happy.
I will always remember you as someone I met when I was sixteen, to my first love and to our failed friendship, I hope you’re happy. Because Happiness is all that I want for yourself.