Dear you,

You were childish, self-centered, crazy, mean girl. You said harsh words to some people without thinking if it would affect them. You always tell stories about yourself and act as if everything revolved only around you. You turned down people who might be your source of happiness right now. You made choices that made me suffer up until this day.

I should be mad but as I reminisce those times, all I can think was I need to be you again. Despite of all the dramas, you were a good person. You lived simply, you daydreamed a lot and you just loved the things around you. There were days that you would cry for little matters but trust me, I am willing to give up what I have now to be you again.

 

I apologize for who and what I am now. Sorry, I became the opposite of what you dreamed of when you were 13. I didn’t made myself pretty enough as you imagined before. I am not dressing up as you wanted me to be. I mostly spend my time alone when you wished before to spend it happily with people I meet along the way. I’m sorry because I still do the weird habits you eagerly wanted not to do in order for me to be better.

Im sorry because the colorful, adventurous and joyful life you wished became dull, boring and sad.

I started making my life as lowkey as possible because I saw how complicated life was to continue being you. The good thing is, I am still a dreamer but I chose a different dream. A dream that is for the betterment of our life.

I wrote this letter to honor the memories you made because as of now, those crazy little stuff that you did are the only thing that keeps me happy. Everytime I think of your foolish actions and stupid jokes made me laugh and cry at same time.

If there is a ride more complicated than a roller coaster ride that can represent the experiences you had during your years. I would love to pause my present life for a minute and enjoy that ride for a moment.

All I can do right now is to close my eyes and remember those memories.

Dearest past, I know you enjoyed a lot during those years and your present and future self will always be grateful for that.