Broken Promises

It’s still vivid to me, how it started with you asking a simple favor from me, and from there we started talking every night. I enjoyed your company, your humor, your wits, your love advice, and your faith. 

From the start, I told you all about my fears, my flaws, my scars, and all the wounds I got from the past. You told me yours and I accepted that. You assured me that all of my fears will never happen. You assured me that I will be the only one, your priority second from God, and you promised me that I’ll be the girl you’re going to marry. Am I foolish for holding to those promises still after we broke up?

I love how opposite we were. I am extremely introverted while you’re an extrovert. I adored your Faithfulness to the Lord, while I am agnostic and not very religious. But you’re the one who led me closer to God and for that, I am forever grateful to you. That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done. 

But I wonder what went wrong? I guess it’s when you started to break every promise of yours to me and started using me like I am just nothing to you. It’s when you kept insisting that you gave me assurances yet I didn’t see any of that. When you made me feel that everyone is my rival and work is more important than me. What happened to your “you’re my priority”? Or I was a fool all along to believe that I was important and your priority?

There are so many questions I have in my mind that I don’t want to know the answers. Why? Because nowadays, all I hear from you are your lies and excuses. It’s also surprising how you instantly changed from someone who is very patient with me to someone who is not afraid of losing me anymore. 

Even though those promises were broken, I’ll carry all the beautiful memories we had in my heart. 

Maybe you’re just an instrument that God used so I’ll get to know Him too.