Dear John

“Hi!” The first word you chat to me 2 years ago.
Now, it’s my turn to say “Hi!”. Kamusta kana? Magsisinungaling ako sa sarili ko kung di ko aaminin na minsan nagtatanong pa din ako ng mga bakit ko sa buhay. Isa na doon kung bakit ka biglang nawala? Bakit di ka na nagparamdam? Ang matindi yung tanong ko kung bakit di mo ko pinursue? Until now, I really don’t know the answers sa lahat ng questions at what ifs ko sa life most especially about you. Nung di mo na ako pinansin, nadown ko yung self ko. Nagstart yung insecurities ko as a woman. That came to a point na I faced myself infront of the mirror and asked, “Pangit ba ako? Di ba ako kamahal-mahal? Optional lang ba talaga ako? All I just want is someone who is consistent to love and respect me. Pero bakit di ka ganun sakin? What’s wrong with me? Bakit?”. I cried.
John, even if you hurt me before, I know you have your reasons. Still I just want you to know that I’m still thankful because I met you. For 5 months of having ‘something’ with you, I experienced the ‘butterflies in my stomach’ feeling. I knew how beautiful love is. Kaakibat ng masayang pagkakataon na iyon ay yung sakit na pinaramdam mo sakin nung ‘na-ghosting’ mo ko. At first, di ko maintindihan ang lahat. Pero ngayon, mukang alam ko na. Hinayaan ako ni God na makilala ka para malaman ang tunay kong halaga. Gumawa sya ng way para di ako magkamali sa taong ilalaan nya para sakin. Hinayaan nya ako mafall sayo para matutunan ko ang kaibahan ng nagmahal ka ng mabilisan sa pagmamahal na naiintay. Thank you John. I mean it. I was grateful na nakilala kita. Thank you for not pursuing me. Thank you for letting me know the real worth of a woman. Siguro, nakatadhana lang tayo na magkakilala. I hope you’re doing fine right now…. with her. I know she will take good care of you. Please love her and don’t do it again.
Hope to see you soon. You with her and me with my future man.

-Me