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I was writing

…when I remember the last time I held this pen

was the time I said “I’m okay”

though it means “I’m in pain.”

…When tears started falling

and I used it as my ink

…when I wrote letters to find peace

but I found no ease

The monsters of my yesterday were coming back

Insecurity, self-pity, and all

Once again, I am surrounded by the dark

Like the transition of summer into fall.

Those were the times I’m most in need

But now I have survived

So I will move forward

and will leave it all behind

When I deleted the page where the letters were written

I realized that it didn’t help

because regardless of where it is now,

it left my heart wounded.