Cutting our cord the first time was painful.
Thinking that the friendship we had was real.
Analyzing every action I’ve seen.
Started asking questions in my mind.
What went wrong?
Any spoken words that might have let you forget everything?
Is this happening?
Are you even real?
Years passed by..
Everything goes back to normal..
I can’t even picture your face.
Your soft voice has stopped playing in my ears.
Finally, I was able to convince myself that you might not be real.
Then the ghost comes back to life..
How can I ignore your unusual presence?
If it seems that you’re screaming in silence.
How can I hide my concern to a person I once valued?
How can I say no if this means your life?
Then here we come..
The genuine smile on our faces as if nothing has changed.
Shared our thoughts..
We stared at the sunset.
And the fear of losing your life vanished.
Then it was darkness
A peaceful darkness
Then the ghost seems fine now.
Deep silence as if I don’t exist again.
Am I wrong for letting you know the pain I felt the first time you ghosted me?
Should I just keep the fear inside me instead?
Is this happening again?
Then the darkness fell since the deep silence..
I’m feeling so down.
Feeling hurt as if you punched a hole in my chest.
Have I been used? Am I being used?
Am I really feeling this?
Telling myself that this is not real.
That this is just a bad dream
Wake up with a smile on my face again.
But how can I convince myself to be numb if the pain is the only reminder that you are real?